I M Perfect lady

"You don't have to worry about changing the world; just change yourself, and you will surely inspire the world to follow. The longest distance any of us ever has to travel to reach Self-Realization is 6 inches.  Take your hand, right now, and touch yourself on the forehead with the tips of your fingers.  That is where we all must start.  Now touch your fingertips to the center of your chest, right over your heart.  That is our ultimate destination.  Six inches lie between mind and heart, between ego and Spirit, between fear and love.  Six inches is all that separates us from God.  It is the true path to Self-Realization, the way is lit by yoga."     Bikram

It is day 18, a nice number and my yoga is strong, or I was strong with yoga. 

The pain in my hip has changed and it now feels more like a healing pain, not a stopping pain.  I am able to relax in the pose instead of just bearing it, moving slightly deeper each set.

What I felt somewhere during yoga yesterday that perhaps what was stopping me was not the fear of an old memory, but maybe the fear of a new me, or the mixture of both. 

As I was letting go, maybe I was surrendering to the death of the old me, and succumbing to the new unfamiliar me.

In that weird spot of letting go and not able to grab firmly on to a new me, I knew that I was not alone, that I would not be asked to traverse this by my self.

An overwhelming feeling of gratitude flooded me, knowing once again the Universe and I would witness together each adjustment.

It did not forsake me in the darkest of times, so I am certain It will walk with me now.

I will be in awe of the synchronicity and flow.

Watching everything I need fall into place at the right and perfect time. 

My only task is to give 110% to yoga each day, and surrender to the flow of change.

When I look into the mirror during yoga, I see so much of my mother, for I reflect her image closely.  I look deeply each day for her to recede and watch for sprouts of a new me.

About five years ago I had said that my father would not define who I am, it never has occurred to me to set the same tone with my mother, so I did so today.

Her image shares the mirror with me, I had emulated her so closely, each day I desire to see less and less of her, and more and more of me.

To see a Me I have not met, a stranger in the mirror.