I M Perfect lady

My Christmas’s of old had a huge agenda to fulfill, they had to bring magic and make belief, and they had to make me feel better. It was like waiting for the elixir or medicine bringing love, peace and joy.

Waiting for a gift that would change my life or a gift from the least likely person, great changes hung in the air.

The season of Christmas had the power to make right a life that was way off kilter.

Or the feverish hope that if I could create the perfect Christmas season, life would fall into place.

Christmas had a sleigh load of expectations, loaded up by me.

Yesterday, I felt the absence of this manic desire, it seemed that Christmas had lost its fever.

It was like my life no longer needed this magic, that Christmas or no Christmas I was way okay.

I am not in the need of gifts that shout, “I love You,” or trees that must hold the joy of the season, or that the stockings are hung, pleading for attention.

There doesn’t seem to be anything missing in my life that Christmas can fulfill.

The Christmas tree stands alone in its glory, smelling delicious with ornaments from years long ago, a bright presence of joy, matching joys I have inside.

Whether I bake Christmas goodies or not, my home will maintain its steady calm atmosphere, relaxed and homey.

It was shocking and delightful to know that there wasn’t anything we needed to make this season bright.

The brightness of the season lives here all year long.

The contrast between the two Christmases is unreal.

To add Christmas to life that was so upside down is like adding a bow to confusion and expecting it to unravel like magic.

What a wonderful feeling to have a Christmas without an agenda, to just be with the Christmas joys…