Mark Nepo writes in The Book of Awakening, โThe unwavering truth is that when we agree to any demand, request, or condition that is contrary to our soulโs nature, the cost is that precious life force is drained off our core. Despite seeming rewards of compliance, our souls grow weary by engaging in activities that are inherently against their nature.โ
In another section he writes, โItโs taken me thirty of my forty-nine years to realize that not being who I am is more deadly, and it has taken the last nineteen years to try and make a practice of this. What this means in a daily way, is that I have to be conscientious about being truthful and resist the urge to accommodate my truth away. It means that being who I really am is not forbidden or muted just because others are uncomfortable or donโt want to hear it.โ
His words affirms how I found myselfโฆfirst I was given the full frontal view of all the things I had said yes to when I should have said no. All the discomforts I had withstood for the sake of getting along, had grown even more uncomfortable and it seemed some discomforts had whole families of uncomfortable feelings.
It is like all the little mole hill choices grew into mountains as the years went past. That one little situation, that I said yes, when my soul wanted to say no, was now way out of control.
We fail to realize what each little tiny decision means in the direction our lives move and how often we neglect our souls to say yes to comply.
In that brief moment we take the road of least resistance and then โforget about โ or at least try to. But the things we acquiesced to add up and soon there are a pile of misrepresented items of you.
The total balance sheet of you shows columns of mixed up messages. Saying yes when you mean no weakens who you are and your life has no core value to stand up.
The saying, โif you donโt stand for something, you will fall for anything,โ comes to mind.
Mark Nepo and other masters, authors and teachers are trying to help us find ourselvesโฆand the real self can be found in each authentic response to all of lifeโs little questions.
What do you want for dinner?
Where do you want to go for a ride?
What movie do you want to watch?
We think we will become enlightened by the deep profound questions, but actually we find ourselves in the small authentic answers.
This also caught my eyeโฆ. โWell, it is no secret that slowness remembers and hurry forgets; that softness remembers and hardness forgets; and surrender remembers and fear forgets.โ
โIt is beautifully difficult to remember who we really are. But we help each other every time we fill up the cup of truth and hold each other up after drinking from it.โ
I love beautifully difficultโฆand holding each other up after drinking our truths.
My life is beautifully difficult and my passion or desire or where I find I am best used is in supporting others as they drink in their truths.
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