I M Perfect lady

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  • Lives in Now

    "If all I have is Now, where will I look for Joy?" 

    Mark Nepo's, Book of Awakening, December 27th.

    "Without hope for the future, without hope that things will change, with no hope of finding what's been lost, and no hope of restoring the past, with only the risk to crack open all that has hardened about me, what will I do with what I have?"

    "At first,this might seem scary or sad, but as a tired swimmer comes ashore surprised to find pearls washing through his legs, I lift my tired head again and again to find all that I need is right where I am."

    "But, being human, I stray and dream of lives others than my own, and soon I am busy wanting something else, somewhere else, someone else; busy imagining something just out of reach to strive for."

    "It leads me to say if you are unhappy or in pain, nothing will remove these surfaces. But acceptance and a strong heart will crack them like a shell exposing a softness that has always been, exposing a soft thing waiting to take form.  It glows.  I think it is the one spirit we all share."  Mark Nepo

    We are getting to the end of Mark Nepo's book, The Book of Awakening. I read a passage each day, and I commented on many of those that struck me as true in my experience.  He writes not about finding the perfect life, but being perfect with life…

    He also uses nature as a guidepost or reference in knowing how to respond.

    It is our challenge always to find Joy here…and not look ahead or beyond where our breath is.  In this moment of time.  I feel joy in being calm, in relaxing with the tree lights, in writing cards to send to friends…in sipping tea…in being online, wirelessly!

    I like that joy is found right now…joy lives in Now.


  • Flow with Grace

    "Sometimes I go about with pity for myself and all the while Great Winds are carrying me across the sky."  Ojibway Saying

    In Mark Nepo's Book of Awakening, he writes…

    "Our crucial task when in pain or dispair is not to let the sour feelings spill into everything, so that we stain our sense of the world. Yet we must also take care not to so contain our feelings that they fester and infect our sense of ourselves.  Somewhere between the two extremes waits the life of healthy expression, not personalizing everything and not painting the world with our troubles."

    "Our inner work is often most demanding when we are sad and afraid, for we can easily be overwhelmed by the power of these emotions that we can start to believe the world less possible or ourselves diminshed.  Once feeling less than, we stop feeling the truth of what is genuine and start losing touch with the Great Winds of life."

    "Yet, somehow life has a way of carrying us along whether we are aware of it or not. Just as the stream carries both the hungry fish and the sleeping one downstream, the Great Winds carry both the agitated heart and the peaceful one into tomorrow."

    "Thus, the work of prayer, when we feel least like praying, is neither to inflate or deflate the world or ourselves, but to restore our connection to the powerful currents of life."  Mark Nepo

    What I like about this reading is the thought that the Winds of the Universe will carry the hungry and the sleeping, the peaceful and the agitated; all go at the same pace….so, it is up to us how we enjoy the ride or become stressed and worried.

    I was in an online discussion about Burdens and how the native americans hang a burden pouch besides their entry, so you don't enter into their homes heavy laden, and they believe that the only place you bring them is to the Wise Elders.

    It is an interesting idea.  I believe that we each should hang a Burden Pouch on our body, so that we are continually considering what to carry and what to place in the pouch. I decided that the pouch should actually remain empty….for we either can fix/change something or we are being asked to accept it.

    The only burdens we carry are the things we cannot change or have no control over….so, they truly are not ours to carry. 

    I find that when I start to frett, I am usually in someone else's life…I am worrying about another's life and wanting to get involved in something that is not mine to move around.

    In our own lives, you will know immediately if it is something you can change of it it is something that you have to accept.  I believe our burden bags are full of things we prefer not to accept, so we are fighting what is.

    If you do as the old saying goes, The Serenity Prayer…..to change what I can and to know the difference.

    What I believe many carry around their necks is a Pretend Pouch, where they believe they can magically change the very things that cannot be changed, but they are not willing to gracefully accept them…instead they carry around an untrue reality.

    Not sure what is more burdensome, the weight of worry trying to change what is impossible or pretending there is nothing to change?  Both leave you fighting the Great Winds.

    You are not going with the flow of reality.

    It is not easy to accept with grace and own to your soul some things…but once you can master this task, you flow with Grace.

  • Positive Negative

    My brother wrote on his blog, http://www.messyguru.typepad.com about Being positive and acting positive…being polar opposites, and I agree.

    What I believe happens is that when you are raised in an abusive family you work like hell to keep it appearing and looking positive, nice and pretty….and that space is where you believe the heart of the family lies…in the space above the abuse.

    And it is the child's job to continually create and re-create this space…and not look directly into the parents lives…but to see them with one eye closed and humming loudly to block out the harsh reality of what they are doing.

    While beneath this pretty picture the children are painting, lies the dark ugliness of abuse…rotting and infecting each new generation…while the older generation continually tosses out abuse like yesterdays OLD NEWS. 

    Acting positive in order to be a family…while the negative feelings surge and rage through you, require you put on a pretty face.

    Trying to be patient, trying to be kind, trying to be positive.  Using alcohol and drugs to keep you feeling positive.

    It is a false positive…in a false positive family. In order to be part of this family, you have to leave your abuse and its affects and stop talking about it.  IT is not welcome here. It is over and done, we moved on.

     This isn't something that is taken lightly or not defended.  I am shoved to the side in order to protect this false positive family unit.  For I will not act positive about a negative member(s).

    Somehow dysfunctional families are striving to be perfect by NOT talking about the negative, when in fact, the only way to return to being positive is to talk about it, to keep talking and dealing until it is fully displayed and dissected and no longer putting in a negative charge into your system.

    If only abuse was a one time event.  

    If only abuse happened, and then was dealt with, but instead in abusive homes, it happens, it is covered up and never talked about, and you are left with a negative feeling inside of you that then goes on to collect more negative feelings, while the home life surface looks like a Hallmark Picture…

    If you look again, at the family snapshots my mother sent, of a large family doing christmas, you would not see any indication of a pedophile or his damage upon the children…you would have to look deeper into their lives.  It is to HER benefit that a false positive be hung up. 

    She doesn't want to air the dirty laundry of her marriage and child rearing years…she wants it to reflect the kinder side of her life.

    It leaves those of us out here with the affects of the abuse, no where to go.  We don't fit into the family picture she paints.  In order to come in, you have to pretend to pretend that you are not abused OR that it has had any adverse affects in your life.

    It is okay to say your abused, but don't talk about it or act like it…and certainly NOT for 8 years!

    I guess I talk about it because she won't.  I talk about it because it made me who I am today…I make sense when you factor in the negative in our home.

    It is not having the space in her life for us to be abused…that pushes us away.

    Even my brother doesn't want me there, for I have this negative side of my life.

    A side that has wrecked havoc in my world.

    How could I ignore it and live a full life?

    And if I did ignore it, would all the affects go away?

    What I know for sure, is that my life was out of control until I was forced to face the negative and see where it was the leading director in my life.

    I lived my life dancing above the abuse…in order to feel positive.  I was the good girl to make me good.  I had to please others to feel positive.  I had to make my children be good for me to be a good mother.  I was directing the world around me to make me good.

    Now, I am good inside.  I am good with being abused.  I am good in knowing that I was but an innocent child and I was abuse.  It isn't who I am, it was what happened to me. 

    It matters not how many kick my ass to the curb, I am still a good person inside.

    Their actions say more about them, than they say about me.

    As they kick me away, I know that they are kicking away abuse.

    I am not my abuse.

    I am me.

    In order to make a false picture family, you will kick aside the good and keep the bad, for in order to make the negative positive, you make the positive negative.



  • Passing on the Love!

    My youngest brother let me go, said good by and backed up from this situation….moving on.

    Interesting that I am the problem.  I am the trouble, I am the one to leave.  Why?

    What did my do, as my son used to say when little, what did I do?

    My persistance and bulldog stance in not capitulating leads them to walk away from me. Most have claimed they can't live 'being so negative', they in order to move on, they have to just be positive.  Or, like my mother…pack it away as "Old News".

    My latest brother to leave, wants most to move on and be positive and to forgive and love, so he will. But, not me.

    I am one that is too hard to be with, for I will not see life through only one lens, positive.  I will see clearly both sides of life and I will move freely based upon the actions of others.  

    Unbeknownst to him, he is showing clear signs of being confused, by throwing away the one who speaks the truth and clinging to the one who overlooks it.

    I know I will get flack for this, for saying they are overlooking the truth…but they are, for they are not moving away from it, just allowing it to be IN the relationship.  It is okay.  

    What always makes me nuts is how they will walk away from me, who hasn't done one negative action toward them, but will stay close to those who have.  

    I also know, that in their confusion, this makes sense.  In order to keep a relationship, they have to make someone wrong or bad, and it gets to be me.

    I just want to know what I did?

    What did I do specifically to you?

    Besides writing about abuse.  Abuse which you claim happened.  Abuse which you all say YOU TOO WERE affected by.  If we are all on the same page, then why is that you let me go?  Why is it that I am kicked to the curb for writing about something that is true?  Oh and if you all agree with me, why is it that we walk differently?  

    My brother showed me once again the juxtaposition of words and actions.

    We agree, but we show it differently?

    There would be no disagreement about our parents and our childhoods, there only is a disagreement in how we move.

    I move completey away from abusive actions, while you all stay…and move on with the relationship.  I wonder why that is?  I wonder why you stay as much as you wonder how I can go?

    While you kick my ass to the curb, you are choosing to stay for a reason, you get something in return, a reward, a prize, a benefit…there is more of a payoff for staying the course in your lives…for overlooking abuse and being family.

    Is it family?

    Can you overlook the 'bad seed' and call it old news and get a family you can trust and know and rely upon? Really?  What is the exact make up of the person you are holding on so dearly to?  And more importantly, what exactly did I do wrong.  

    I stopped all relationships with were connected with abuse and I am wrong for doing that because I tossed out family with the abuse???  Well, where else does abuse live?  It isn't in the furniture…but in the actions of the individuals.

    I stopped my relationship with my mother for the exact reason that my abuse is old news to her, it isn't something worth speaking about any more.  While I am still working on changing the patterns in my behaviors so that my children will have a new one to follow.  8 years it has taken me so far to right her wrong.

    Not my wrong, but hers.  What again did MY Do?

    Please be specific…show me where I wronged my family of origin.  

    I know where I wronged my children.  

    I wronged them by repeating what was done to me by my mother. I am still working on a new pattern with my children.  A loving pattern.  

    While you all see me working on hate….I am actually working on loving me and then passing on the love.  

  • At any Time!

    I am hearing two different modes of "Moving On".  One is to move with the relationship and the other is to move on, by moving away from the relationship.

    Both are moving on…yet one is to move on like nothing happened and the other is to move away because something did happen.

    My mother told my brother that I was still mad about something that happened 8 years ago….indicating to him "Old News".  She has told me repeatedly to move on, to get over it and rally forth.  Like it is nothing.  Well, nothing to her. She is not on the receiving end of her bad behavior….which in my book makes all the difference in the world.

    I did move on.  I moved away.

    She would like me to move on within the relationship.  To slide over the lump of what she calls old news, to forge into a new and bright future. What she fails to realize, is that I have no desire to be with folks who want me to continually slide over their negative behaviors…and move on while not taking notice of their actions…to continue forward, like nothing happened.

    Am I the only one who sees this 'moving on' as only beneficial to the abuser to the one doing the negative actions within the relationship?

    Why am I seen as the one with the problem due to my not moving on like nothing happened, when it did?

    My mother would tell you it is over.  It was over 8 years ago. He died a few months ago, it is over, it is old news….get over it and move on.  

    It begs me to ask what would make her stop? What action would it take to get her out of a relationship?  

    I believe she feels she is stronger for withstanding the blows that rained upon her while married to my father. Whether it was his infidelities or his abusing her daughters…what action would make her move out of a relationship.  And, I am the one with problems?

    Old news…she sees my abuse, my sisters abuse, her granddaughters abuse as "old news".  Just move on.  

    Really?

    How?

    And in what condition?

    How do you forge ahead in a relationship with her knowing all it is to her is 'old news'?

    I am amazed and affirmed by her quick brush aside of such a wide scope of abuse…in how it would be impossible to relate to her.

    I see abuse as being very life changing, very soul shattering, not an easy wipe away and to move on from.

    And, for the record…I have moved on.  

     I have moved away from people who so easily disregard the severity of abuse.  

    I moved on from folks who continually support and be in relations with folks who do not take it seriously the affects of abuse.

    It isn't so much their abilitiy to move on, but the fact that what they are sliding over are lives that have been sorely affected by abuse. That they are slipping aside actions of huge proportions.  

    They see it as Moving On….and focusing on the good times and saving the happy memories and not 'wasting' today mired in yesterdays 'old news'.

    What they fail to see is what they are not taking into account.  They over look the 'bad seed' like it is a blemish on the face, and not that it has the capabilities to continue to hurt others.

    My mother overlooked and moved on each time my father 'sinned'.  And it didn't make him brighter, nicer or kinder, nor did it make her stronger or have more self value.  So, why in the world do so many follow her lead?

    To me, there are two distinct moving on models…one will lead towards healing and wholeness and one will lead to further self abuse.

    One is to remain in a relationship and one is to move out of the relationship.

    Which one do you believe would have stopped my father from abusing her girls?

    Which one would have led to a life filled with empowerment and self love?

    All I can say, is my mother is a great teacher. She is teaching what happens when you move on within the relationship, overlooking the evil acts that pop up.  

    I am teaching the other moving on.

    You get to pick one, and you can change your mind at any time.


  • I Left Them.

    A message was left on my answering machine yesterday via a Text to Land Line service.   A computer generated voice haltingly spoke, "Happy Birthday, you are special.  Love Mom."  It sounds like a telemarketer…hard to discern what you are hearing.  It was an almost call from my mother.  Close but with no way for me to respond.  Well, I guess that is a lie, the first part of the message is that this is a text from number xxx-xxx-xxxx.  So, I could have returned the call.

    When you lean it up with the rest of the birthday wishes, it feels odd…

    I am never real sure why they reach out…for whose benefit, theirs or mine?

    What is the expectation?

    So much time and life has passed us by, and yet the relationship stalled 8 years ago. In order to resume, we have to start where it ended.

    I always feel that when they come in, there is an expectation to begin 'like old times' to overlook the passing of time and the reason for the break up, to just slip back into the casual and normal exchanges…like nothing happened.

    It lessens and minimalizes the severity of shattered relationship by not talking about it, and expecting there to be normal social exchanges.  I just can't seem to find a way to hop over the wrecked relationship and resume a shallow interaction…without delving into crash.

    In order for me to restart with any of them, I would have to start where we ended…answering the questions once again and seeing if our answers have changed.  

    Overlooking the reasons for my estrangement would negate my reason for leaving…

    Which leaves us in an odd spot. The very thing that caused me to go, is the very place they are not willing to dialogue.  My entry back into their lives begins where I left…while they want me back by leaping over the past 8 years and start here.

    That is what many dysfunctional relationships are like…to overlook the bad and focus on the good memories and times…never staring at the bad or digging to find out what is really there.


    And if we start where we ended and we each feel the same, then the estrangement still stands.

    I somehow always feel that I am to blame for the differences….and not that each of us carry equal halves.  It is no more my fault than it is theirs…we are just two people who looked at a life altering event completely different….OR perhaps seen it the same, but responded differently.

    I would feel better if, instead of coming in with social niceties, they would show their interest by coming in wanting to know where I stand and why.

    Mostly what I get is that I am wrong.  I am 'choosing' to walk away from family….It is up to me to make changes in the direction of my life.  I am to blame. They do not feel that they did anything wrong, but I have done bushels full.

    Interesting….I broke the relationship, not that the relationship broke due to the irreconcilable differences.  A valid reason for divorcing…and, since I can't divorce my family legally, I have to do it this way….estrangement.

    What is the 'normal' protocol for this?  What does estrangement look?  It almost feels like I divorced them, but they didn't get the paper work.  For, in my world, if there were to be a reconcilliation, we again, have to start where the trouble began. Fiinding the root cause for OUR estrangement…and begin there.

    Looking around the reason for our estrangement somehow reduces it to a temper tantrum, that I am just out here spunking.  That I am wasting precious years and missed opportunities to be part of a family.  It isn't a we statement, but that I am doing this.  I am the one to blame. 

    For what, I again ask?  Why am I to blame for the tear in OUR relationship. Who tore it up or what?

    We are not stupid, we all know.  But what we don't know is how to act and behave in a relationship that has died but the bodies live on.  

    There seems to be no relationship integrity when they act like nothing has happened.

    I would much more prefer them to see it as totalled…then pretending it was a surface scratch.  Our relationship crashed and it will not run unless and until BOTH of us are willing to shoulder their responsibility for what happened.

    AND, be willing to fight and work hard at creating a new relationship.  Our old one died and in order for a new one to be born, we will have to find a reason to want it.

    It will not be a surprise birth or an accident.  It will have to be a conscious effort on both sides.  I am not willing to leap frog back over my (OUR) estrangement to start again. 

    What I love most about this writing today….it is OUR estrangement, not mine!  For in truth, they left me as much as I left them.

  • Lady in the Wind

    I had the day off today and I spent many hours in the basement creating a Lady quilt for a woman who has been instrumental with WIND.  

    As the quilt began to take shape….the tree bending in the Wind, the Jacket that seemed to be moving…the hair.  Oh, I began to love this quilt.  I seriously  contemplated keeping it for me. I mean really keeping it.  I loved the overall look and feelings it evoked.  

    The background of this quilt was the backdrop of the snowman quilt, but I couldn't seem to get this one to work for the woman I had in mind.  So, I took off the snowman and added a tree…and then I changed the Lady…..and here it is.


    IMG_9244
    I just loved the feel of this totally…the different Christmas colors.  The orange ornaments have glitter on them…just all of it.  I took pretty many pictures for I knew it was going away and I could picture this on a Christmas card some day.  

    The more pictures I took, the more I fell in love with it…and the harder it was to let her go.  

     

    IMG_9252

    When I got home, I quickly wrapped it up without a further thought, knowing it was going to someone who loves my Art and who would appreciate the gesture….and I was right.

    She LOVED it.  

    I know it went to a happy woman and it will bring moments of joy in the days to come.  Already in short one day…we both fell in love with her.  It is like she is a new friend…a woman who you want to get to know better.

    I am glad I took many pictures….she was pure joy!


    IMG_9271

    Merry Christmas An-Gel…May she be a reminder to follow your joy!

  • Their Own Inner Pain.

    In this world, hate never yet dispelled hate. Only love dispels hate. This is the law, ancient and inexhaustible. —BUDDHA 

     Daily reading from Mark Nepo's  "The Book of Awakening"

    "One of the most difficult things about healing from being hurt by others is how to put wounds to rest when those who have hurt us will not give air to the wound, will not admit to their part in causing the pain. I have struggled with this deeply. Time and again, I find myself confusing the want for justice with the need for a witness of the wound."

    " Physical wounds are hard to miss, but emotional wounds are seldom visible. This is why they must be looked at and acknowledged if we are ever to heal. Yet so often, our pain is compounded by the very human fact that we may never agree on the nature of what happened. If we do, we may never admit it to each other. Or the amends we feel we so deserve may go with the hurtful one to the grave." 

    "As with so many other crucial negotiations of life, what's required is to honor what lives within us. We must bear witness to ourselves, for there is no power as embracing or forgiving as the authority of that portion of God that lives in each of us."  

    His exercises for today… 

    Sit quietly until you begin to feel safe, and bring into view a wound that hasn't healed. 

    Breathe steadily and look directly at the wound, bearing witness to yourself and all you've been through.  

    Breathe fully, and let your compassion for yourself be the air to cleanse the wound. Mark Nepo

     

    What I love about his words today, is that what we are seeking is for the other to air our wounds WITH us, and they don't.  Or, we want there to be a witness of the wound; someone to see us…and we prefer it to be the one who hurt us.

    I agree with him, that it is vastly important for us to view our own wounds and air them out…regardless if the others agree on what happened or not, you know. 

    In knowing, sit with your self and honor your wound…be your own witness.

    What phrase came to mind, "God helps those who help themselves…"

    If you are sitting and subconsciously waiting and wishing and hoping or manipulating your life for others to see you and your wound, you will remain a victim to life's circumstances.

    If however, you stop waiting and looking for the response you need outside of yourself, but rather take the time and space to look and honor your self, you will find eternal peace about your abuse.

    In writing this blog, I am acknowledging to me my wounds and I am airing them.  It feels good to know that I was wounded and I can be the most valuable witness.  For, even if others see you wounded, it will be all for naught, if you don't see and feel your hurt.

    It is not the people who are at peace with their wounds that hurt others, nor are we racking up more negative life experiences…but those who are the walking wounded, blind to their own inner pain.

    "Hurt people, hurt people."  Bill Cosby


  • Action where it matters.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/16/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-mental-illness-conversation_n_2311009.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false#sb=1306580,b=facebook

    The link above is by a woman who truly understands how tragedy happens…it isn't about the lack of gun laws, nor is it about there being no religion or God association in schools, it is about the delicate balance of the human mind.

    It is about mental illness.  It is about the fact that it isn't easily treated as it would be to change the laws about guns.  It would be easier to put the Pledge of Allegiance back in the schools, compared to coming face to face with dealing successfully with an imbalanced mental health of a child.

    For some reason, it is easier to not look at mental illness.  Yet we all say, "who in their right mind would do such a thing?"  The key is they are not well.  The are no winners in this. The child who is out of control is equally a tragedy.  

    I can't even begin to imagine living the life of this mother…to have a child whose brilliance is so bright and his darkness so dark.  Who do you love and support? Knowing when you lock up the darkness, his sensitive brilliance is compromised.

    As long as we talk about guns and not the mental illnesses and the lack of support and help for this mother and family, we will be guaranteeing more tragedies to come.  We are not learning our lessons.

    Guns are not the problem. God in schools will not be the answer to the mental illnesses that are plaguing these children.  We need to have clarity on where the real root of with these incidences lay.

    These children and their parents are both screaming for help and we are turning them away for there is no room, no program, no solution…etc. 

    Stop looking at the guns and start looking at these children.

    It seems horrific that prison is the answer…and that we don't see the child behind the gun…until it is far far too late.

    We are smarter than how we act.  It would be like banning cars due to drunk driving.

    What can we learn?  How can we help the boys/girls with mental illness…what can we do to save them from themselves…which in turn will stop these tragedies from happening.

    It isn't that these children are out of control, but we are.  We are literally spending time and words arguing about guns. We are not in control when we believe that guns and the lack of God in schools will stop a child with mental illness from acting out the only way his mind will let him.

    He needs us to get back in control.

    Controlling how we see the problem…

    Humanity as a rule sees what it wants to see and disregards the rest. And the rest, is where the solution lies.

    I get this maddening desperation of the mother….while everyone speaks of guns and the lack of God in schools, she has a child out of control.  

    She knows changing gun laws will not stop her son.

    She knows using the word God in school or adding prayer, will not change her son.

    It is time we all see what she sees…and put action where it matters.

  • Your Own Feelings

    Below is today's reading by Mark Nepo from his book "The book of Awakening"

    The sun doesn't stop shining because people are blind. 

     It is a hard challenge to stay true to ourselves in the face of indifference. Rejection and opposition are painful, but being treated as if you don't exist is quietly devastating. This soft puncture is particularly human. Eagles soar and glide for hours in canyon air, and the fact that no one knows does not lessen their ability to fly. But for us there is a constant elusive heroism in being who we are, especially when we are misunderstood, judged, or ignored. Somehow our need for love gives tremendous power to the opinions of others, and so, we are required to guard against turning our lives over to the expectations of others.

    A great example of hearing one's deeper self is the Spanish painter Goya. Writing about Goya, Andre Malraux tells us that after going deaf in 1792, the painter understood that “to allow his genius to become apparent to himself it was necessary that he should dare to give up aiming to please.” It is both touching and instructive that Goya couldn't fully realize his God-given gifts until he went deaf to the demands of those around him.  Mark Nepo

    What I have realized that we are not taught to stay true to your self.  We are taught to keep our words to ourselves if they are not 'kind'…and to honor thy mother and thy father, no matter what.  

    Staying true to your self in an abusive home is very dangerous, it could lead to more punishment and further neglect and abuse.  It is better to bury your true feelings and expressions and begin living to stay true to what they want.

    How many even know what staying true to you means?  If the only you you have ever known is the one who looks outward in making choices…trying not to disappoint or lose love by the choices they make.

    What if you made choices and were blind to what others thought or said? What if you could move freely believing that they are blind to your choices?  Would they still be the choices you make today?

    In the past, I made no choice or very little choices that would negatively affect another's happiness.  I only moved in ways that didn't ripple lives.

    I believe that the biggest indication of how far off the mark I was from my true self was by the vast changes that happened when I began living my life from the inside out.

    When I became blind and deaf to the outside and turned my full attention to staying true to me.

    I just listened to Joseph Campbell's book, "The Hero with a Thousand Faces" and in it he says that all will be called to the Hero's Journey, but few will answer the call.

    He speaks about how when we fail to answer the call of staying true to ourselves, we will only create more negative.  I believe this.

    I had a lifetime of negative upon negative outcomes based upon my shying away from my true self.

    This gives me great peace to know…that a hero's journey is one that creates positive.  All the negative course corrections that I had to make in order to stay true to me will be completely worth it if I am no longer creating negative karma…or a negative history and legacy.

    Imagine, we can change the world's negative percentage one person at a time…all we have to do is stay true…no longer indifferent to your own feelings.


     

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