I M Perfect lady

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  • Deviating from What is Standard.

    Our training last night was so revealing to me on so many levels.  

    We do role playing on the phones.  Meaning, a person is the caller and we are the liners (on the crisis line) and we then get a feel for the type of a calls and what is helpful and what is not.

    What came out last night was very interesting.  How as you sit listening, you yourself and your experience history can become a block for the person on the line. Unknowingly, you are not as free to explore their pain.  

    This unconscious belief is there, and it blocks you from moving, and you don't even know it…until it is pointed out.

    As one person is in the hot seat (being a liner) the rest of us are watching.  And being a witness to the call and not on it, you are so wise, for your unconscious issues are not threatened.  

    What I thought about as I was falling to sleep, is that we all can solve issues and problems in anothers life, especially just witnessing it and not being actively engaged in it.  However, become engaged, and your unconscious pain and wounds will not let you respond freely, you will hit a wall.

    You will only explore as far as you yourself have gone…you move up to the wall of uncomfortable, but not beyond it.  And, if you are watching the dialogue, BUT not in it, you are free to explore options, for your own unconsciousness is not engaged.

    But, put yourself into the scene, and you freeze.

    Wildly intriguing to see…and extremely telling in how we operate in life.  Very good at knowing what to do as long as we are not engaged in real life.  

    I can see as a therapist, that they will unknowingly have blocks that will block exits and pathways to healing, depending upon their own life experiences.  

    If you are seeing a therapist and it feels like you are making no progress, IT very well may be because, they can only take you so far.  

    And, it also came to me, that if your support system is all from the same stock, you may just stir the pot, but never find a solution or healing way out.

    I can see I missed my calling or perhaps I am just entering into it.  I thoroughly am engrossed in the how abuse is spoken of, not spoken of, how it manifests in lives, how it is treated, how abused individuals act and how it is best to respond, etc.  

    Widening the circle of understanding the human psyche and how abuse impacts your living and the unconscious beliefs that stunt your growth and turns your life into an anomaly.

    I looked up the word, Anomaly…making sure I had the correct meaning.

    "Something that deviates from what is standard, normal, or expected."

    This anomaly…my father deviating from what is normal, then created in me the same.  I became an anomaly when I didn't act as expected or what is normal or standard.  Meaning, I didn't run screaming and report it.

    However, I do have this one memory that I did tell…well, I showed, my private parts to my mother in severe pain…And she deviated from what was standard, normal or expected.  Nothing was done.  She didn't leave my father or bring him to the court of the land.  When they didn't act as expected, I learned that in our home, our normal was to act different from the standards or what is expected.

    It wasn't that the child didn't act normal, she did, but she witnessed how abuse was dealt with, how others responded.  They didn't act like she did…while her alarm screamed in pain, they were the opposite.  No reaction.

    It is this non-reaction that we notice.  That it is our three alarm fire, not theirs.  We are acting incorrectly. When my mother didn't respond in kind, I had to as a child read the message that all was okay.  No reason for panic.  Settle down, it is all right.

    Her deviation from a standard mother's response, is all it took for me to take cues in how to react to abusive behavior…calmly as if it is okay…no more than a scrapped knee.  

    Her reactions programmed mine.

    This anomaly is the set point for our family…deviating from what is standard.



  • Standing on Nothing.

    I thought there was a strip of land between true and not true.   A place where folks could agree with me, but not like in total agreement.  Sorta like a path in the zoo, where you are not in the cage, but near it.  Still in the zone, but not totally committed.

    Yet as I was trying to write and figure out, are there really three places?  

    One being true,

    the other being not true,

    and then this spot in the middle between them. And if that was true, what is the middle spot called?

    Supposedly, we all know what is true and what is not true and yet more often than not, I find folks living as if the truth never happened.

    How is that possible? 

    All I can figure out is they live in the space between true and not true.

    Where they know what the truth is and what it would require….but are not willing to live there.  And they are not quite willing to be seen as totally nuts, as to believe what is not true, so they live in the space between.

    In this space between, it requires nothing.

    It demands nothing.

    It allows all things.

    You are not committed to the truth; in a cage of only one way…nor are you sitting with the unbelievers; you are strolling along a path that doesn't touch either side.

    However, what I have found is the truth is very rigid and tight.  It doesn't allow for leisurely space of indecision…or waffling. You are either with it or you are not.

    What I believe is that most folks don't want to openly admit they are against the truth…for that would be plain insane to say.

    Instead they tell themselves many things that circle the cage, but never enter it.

    Entering into the land of truth, starts an avalanche, where the land 'between' rapidly begins to slide out from beneath you…the comfortable path disappears, leaving you standing nowhere or… in the truth, the tight cage.

    While many want to believe that there is an honorable place to stand outside of truth, I myself have not found it.  

    In fact the only secure ground I found, was with the truth; all the rest was like a mirage.  

    This mirage is built when reality is too harsh to live.

    Yet it is a mirage…for when you get right up to it and look deeply, it all disappears…and reality rears its ugly head.

    So, while my true story of my childhood is not so easy to deal with, it is much easier than standing on a mirage.

    There is substance in reality.  

    I looked up the meaning of true.

    "Consistent with fact or reality; not false or erroneous."

    What I believe is that I have been consistent with reality and its facts. Reality and its facts doesn't allow for any wiggle room. It either is or it is not.  That is why I see the truth as being in a cage; confined to what is.

    It doesn't have the options of choice.

    I see myself now as a prisoner of the truth…where my choices are no longer a choice…I walk as it dictates.  

    Would this mean that if others see me with options, that they are not confined to the truth?  That they are living outside of its constraints…free to not follow the truth.

    Most often the discussion is not so much about what I am doing, but rather that I am choosing this option for me, what it is right for me…it feels right for me etc.

    When in actuality, what I am doing is just lining up with reality…it isn't about me, but about what is true.

    It is my dance partner; it leads and I follow.  Otherwise I am standing on nothing.





     






  • What is it Reflecting?

    In Oprah's magazine, she interviews Deepak Chopra and she asks, 

    Oprah: "What is that essence?  In every conversation I've had with housewives,in Mumbai, with middle-class people, upper-class, in the slums – everyone says there is an underlying consciousnes of karma.  That people believe in karma – that what you are putting out is going to come back. If I do something to you, the energy of it is going to come back to me in the future." 

    Deepak: " A child in India grows up with the idea that you have to make choices that will create a better future. In fact, your whole life is a continuum of choices, so the more conscious you are, the greater your life will be.  People live that yes."

    Oprah:  "That is the thing that impressed me the most.  People live it. They don't just talk it.  It is part of their actions..  Am I correct?"

    Deepak:  " You're absolutely correct.  In India you are taught that there are certain qualities that make you a divine human being.  These qualities are Joy.

    Oprah: "Joy!"

    Deepak: "Love."

    Oprah: "Love."

    Deepak: "Compassion, equanimity, truth, goodness, beauty and hamony.  And at the core of these are three words: Sat, chit, Ananda. Sat means "the truth", Chit means "consciousness" and Ananda means "Joy".  So if you are connected to truth and consciousness and joy, you're all set."

    In reading this, and looking back….what are the children of the FALC taught?

    And what are you teaching if you are not teaching the truth of your own childhood? How are you living life and what is it reflecting?


  • The pain between us.

    In writing the post for Mother's Day, I felt or seen the completed picture of what might have been, had I continued in being a 'kinder' daughter.  

    We think of the legacy of abuse as handing down repeated behaviors such as beating our children or sexually abusing them. We don't think of the legacy being unable to face the truth and the negative emotions from hurtful things traveling along and being handed to our children to feel.

    It is the feelings and emotions that get passed on.  The action is a byproduct.

    The legacy isn't the behavior, but the way you don't feel upward, but you can express downward.

    They pass you, you dont' feel them, but your children surely do.

    I don't know if I can articulate this in a way that those still not truly facing their own true stories can appreciate.  I totally get how harsh I was looked upon for standing up to my mother, but the alternative is that you unconsciously give your children all what you don't feel.

    Some think, that being kind to an abusive mother, will make them a kind person. Instead what happens is that you are only pretending to be kind, for inside of you is a very hurt child.  A hurt child forced to be kind. 

    I can totally feel the tight spot a child is put into.  Where morality, society and religion all are wanting you to honor thy mother, who beat you, who didn't protect you, etc, by being kind. And this kindness comes with a price you alone have to carry; being silent about how it made you feel.

    In order to do as society dictates, you have to lie to yourself.  So, you look good in society and are affirmed in religion, but have lost yourself.

    This weird place you asked to stand in is the road of pretending. And on this road, the true emotions will arise, just never directed in the right direction. Like a wild shooter, they never hit the correct mark, and instead land on the innocent.

    By focusing on my truths and the root cause, I was shut the gate downward towards my children and opened the gate that morality and religion had closed to me.

    The actions of my children never ever deserved the treatment they received.  Yet, the only avenue I had left open to me was them…until, I turned to the source and root of my pain.  My abuse in my childhood.

    Going against the moral codes of society and religion were not popular for me, but it was the only way to stop the legacy.  My truthful expressions being expressed to the parties who inflicted the damage had to happen. And, to be followed through with actions that represented my truth.  

    My mother wasn't able to see what she did to us, for she wasn't able to see and fully accept what happened to her as a child.  

    Just seeing clearly your past will clear up the dysfunction for your children. 

    The countless families of abuse within the FALC, blessing away the truth, is exactly what abuse needs.  To keep abuse alive and strong is to not see it.

    It has been said that I am totally mental for staring at abuse and not seeing the good that rode with it, but the good I had seen and paid attention to, it was the dark colors of abuse that got shoved so far back in the recesses of my mind, that I needed to address.

    Now I see the total picture. And in understanding how abuse is handed down, I can see how my parents treated us, had nothing to do with us, but said volumes about their childhoods.

    When parents who are unable to reconcile their own lives, unconsciously treat their child badly, it isn't because the child deserves it, asked for it, is bad, etc…it isn't about the child, IT is because the parent never healed their own childhood wounds.

    Healing them is seeing them, expressing them, dealing with them. And putting up boundaries towards the hurtful parent.

    Many think I am punishing my mother.  When in actuality, I know that my mother is hurting from her childhood and can't but help hurt me, for she hasn't been able to express her self upward.  I know she is doing this unconsciously. And I am able to spare her hurting one of her children by staying away.

    As a mother…I would want my children to get out of the way of me, IF I was hurting them unconsciously.  

    I can't change my mother, but I can stop her from hurting me, by stopping the relationship.  The only way she can continue to hurt me is for me to stay.

    My leaving stops the pain between us.


  • Face Her Own Truth

    Mother's Day always comes with a cocktail of emotions.  I feel the estrangement to my own mother and the void of being an adult child outside of that relationship, with the juxtaposition of being in changing relationships with my children. Mother's day for moms with moms, is multi-layered, especially when the relationships are the complete opposite.

    IF I hadn't separated myself from my relationship with my mother, there is a very good chance, that the relationship between my children and I would be very different, let alone the relationship between me and myself.

    Alice Miller is an author who writes about children and parents, but mothers mostly….and how we see or don't see our true mothers.

      "I use the word "unconscious" exclusively to refer to repressed, denied, or disassociated content (memories, emotions, needs).  For me, a person's unconscious is nothing other than his/her biography, a life story that, although stored in the body in its entirety, is accessible to our consciousness only in a highly fragmentary form.  Accordingly, I never use the word "truth" in a metaphysical sense. The meaning I give it is invariably that of a subjective entity, related to the actual life of the individual concerned.  This is why I frequently speak of "his" or "her" truth, meaning the true story of the person in question, as evidenced by and reflected in his/her emotions.  In my terminology, emotion is a more or less unconscious, but at the same time vitally important physical response to internal or external events – such things as fear of thunderstorms, rage at having been deceived, or pleasure that results from a present we really desire. By contrast, the word "feeling" designates a conscious perception of an emotion. Emotional Blindness, then, is usually a (self-) destructive luxury that we indulge in at our cost."

    "MY MAIN CONCERN in this present book is with the effects the denial of our true and strong emotions have on our bodies. Such denial is demanded of us not least by morality and religion. On the basis of what I know about psychotherapy, both from personal experience and from accounts I have been given by very many people, I have come to the conclusion that individuals abused in childhood can attempt to obey the Fourth Commandment only by recourse to a massive repression and detachment of their true emotions.  They cannot love and honor their parents because unconsciously they still fear them.  However, much they may want to, they cannot build up a relaxed and trusting relationship."

    "Instead, what usually materializes is a pathological attachment, a mixture of fear and dutiful obedience that hardly deserves the name of love in the genuine sense of the word.  I call this a sham, a facade.  In addition, people abused in childhood frequently hope all their lives that someday they will experience the love they have been denied.  These expectations reinforce their attachment to their parents, an attachment that religious creeds refer to as love and praise as a virtue.  Unfortunately, the same thing happens in most therapies, as most people are still dominated by traditional morality. There is a price to be paid for this morality, a price paid by the body."

    "Individuals who believe that they feel what they ought to feel and constantly do their best not to feel what they forbid themselves to feel will ultimately fall ill, unless, that is, they leave it to their children to pick up the check by projecting onto them the emotions they cannot admit to themselves."  Alice Miller

    In feeling emotions that were not easy for me to admit or feel about my mother, fear, rage, resentment, her lack of care…etc.  I spared my children, and myself, a relationship that they carried what I could not….I gave them years worth of rage and resentment….that needed to be directed upward at my mother.  Once I was able to feel the true story of my childhood, my children didn't have to feel what I couldn't feel.

    I know there are vivid memories of me being totally out of control enraged…and at pretty minor incidences with my children.  What I didn't know is that these emotions were traveling in the wrong direction.  My unconsciousness, my denial of my true childhood story, was spilling forth in my nowaday world, I just didn't know it.  Like a child, a very angry child I mothered.

    So, as I sit here on Mother's day, I am fully understanding how leaving my mother saved my relationships with my children, in that I didn't give them what I couldn't hold.   

    It isn't that I am still in rage towards my mother.  Rage served its purpose.  It was the exact emotions a child should feel in the midst of sexual abuse being so very young and helpless and having a mother refuse to change her ways.  All the bundles of emotions that go with sexual abuse were felt by me, so that I did not deliver them to my children, unfelt.

    What is between my children and I is the present.  

    My past is with my mother.  

    I am so grateful that I was able to turn and face my mother with the truth of me, so that I can experience mothering without spewing forth emotions I didn't want to feel.  In feeling the worst emotions a child fears, I spared my children a very angry mother.

    What I know to be true…is that my mother didn't mean to be angry at us, she just didn't know how to turn around and face her own truth.


  • Just be Me.

    Last night I had my second class of Volunteer Training at Dial Help.  We went over different types of individuals who are part of the human population that have been labeled "different" and seem to be chosen unconsciously by the majority to be targeted, due to not being 'normal'.  

    Like there is the template of perfect and if you don't fit into the size, shape and color, then you are rejected.

    This is the Perfect shape we all believe is there, but it isn't who we are.  

    Some of us feel 'closer' to the model than others, but it seems that most folks are not allowed to be themselves, that they are expected to change to fit.  Fit into a slot that allows society to feel better…maybe even look better.

    This image society holds up…and we are all to contort ourselves to match.  Failing to do so, means you are the failure.  Not society.

    It really sat with me how backwards this all is. Where the image of what you must be, overrides who you are.

    Imagine a society that didn't want anything from you, but you. Where there is no mark to hit, no hole to fit into, but rather being different is being normal.

    I just felt how telling it is, about individuals that work so feverishly to be 'normal' and 'perfect' and how much lying this must entail.  How much effort it takes to pretend to be normal, to feel perfect, in order to slide under the marker called Perfectly Normal.

    This means reaching for a target, instead of Being you.

    Being you is not acceptable…or good enough.  We are taught to behave for society, but not behave as ourselves, or to live our truth, but to live how society deems it to be.

    Imagine… Being you is not enough.  You have to pretend to be something better than that.  How is that possible?  What does this do to you inside, to hide yourself…and pretend otherwise?

    When perfectly normal is considered normal, then if anything out of the ordinary happens, you must hide it. Push it aside and away OR you will be pushed aside and away.

    Real life is not allowed.

    Normal Society only accept you if you pretend to be that which you are not.

    There is no way the Majority of Society is normal…they are just pretending they are. 

    If the majority would stand in their imperfections, there would be no perfection to reach.  Normal then would be imperfect.

    And in an imperfect world, all individuals would be perfect…accepted for being truthful and not discarded because of it.

    Discarding perfectly normal, would free us all to be.  What I feel is the biggest Disease, is that we have moved that far from our own truths.  We did this to please an image, a church, a family… 

    That is the price we pay for not walking our truth.  

    In the FALC, there was no room for being you.  There was an image to aspire to, and all good christians worked to reach it. Conformity was applauded. We all had to look and act the same.  Control happened when we acquiesced.  It mattered not at what cost to the individual. The image of the FALC came first.  Same as with families…within the church. There is no room for imperfections in their perfect image.  Controlling the image, they control you.  If you don't measure up to the image, out you go.

    What is so tragic, is that those who dare walk their truth, are seen as anomalies…instead of the perfect human being, being themselves.

    I have lived both ways now…and noncomforming for society feels better within me. It was so hard to live trying to measure up to a moving target.  Perfect was never reachable, until I decided to just be Me.

    "I M Perfect, and it is impossible not to be."

     



  • Arrived at a New Place

    Well, the day finally arrived. With some trepidation or perhaps curosity in how it would all go, I walked into the Sweet Water Cafe, with a carpet roll of quilts.

    A group of Weavers, were in the process of taking their work down. It reminded me of setting up a craft show.  You arrive with your things, and are given a space and you just work with what you got. 

    The owner of the cafe was so excited with my art, which immediately set me at ease.  

    She was very decisive and knew her space and where she wanted each piece. And she knew her hanging system, which isn't the best, but works. She said that a few folks over her 19 years of having revolving art shows, have made comments to improve her system. Her response, "With great Art, you don't notice," and she said to me, "All they will see is your art."

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    Here is a space near the cash register – Before

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    And with my art.  Her favorite was the Lady in the Hammock.  She said, "I want to be her, I want to be there."  

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    This is overlooking the back, as you walk in the door and that is Ursula. Sorry for my lighting, but you get the idea.  On the left near the windows, three more will hang.

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     This is also near the cash register…my colors seemed to work with her space.

    She had a meeting, and so I left before it was totally done.  In fact, only 6 pieces were up. So who knows how the finished Cafe looked when it was all said and done. But, I took pictures of the before….you can see what the space looks like empty.

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    This wall can hold very large pieces…and I would have my own dowel on them when I dropped them off.  It would speed up the hanging process.  She picked three Lady quilts that will hang on this wall.  And the opposite side, near the windows, will have more…Just hanging them on the backs of the booths, brightened up the place.

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     I was happy to get the "before" shots, and it is best that I wasn't able to get the final After, for that you have to stop in at the Sweet Water Cafe.

    As I was leaving, I reached out my hand in thanks…Ursula says, "I feel I need to give you a hug, for you are leaving part of your self here." And so we did.  I felt good leaving my Lady there. (And she gave me a loaf of their bread…it is delicious)

    It was a very positive experience.  And I love that my Art is now out of the dark basement and being appreciated by others…creating a welcoming atmosphere while they dine.  

    My Art and I…what a journey.  We both have arrived at a new place.

  • I Love Us Together, Today.

    As I sit here in our home on our 25th Wedding Anniversary, I wondered what has been the key, the glue and the formula that has kept both of us together.

    I know for sure it hasn't been the romantic rides, the weekend getaways, or the quiet dinners…but rather the tight spots, the uncomfortable places we have found ourselves in, and how we successfully navigated them.

    In those difficult life moments, we learned to trust each other and ourselves. We learned how to say and do things, to honor our own integrity.  

    Our greatest challenge by far, was me discovering that I was abused as a child…and that the person I thought I was, was completely a ruse.  He had fallen in love with a person, and she died…when the truth came out.  In her place, yet to be born, was someone neither of us knew.

    He was brave enough to set aside all we knew and forge ahead with me discovering a new me…without a promise of a future together.  

    Having lived for 46 years a stranger to the truth, the truth then became my soul ingredient. My lying days were over.

    So after 18 years, we started our marriage over…beginning with, "I love you today," and kept it very present. I didn't have a clue who I would be, so we didn't focus up ahead, but right here right now.  And I also gave him permission to leave at any time, if he no longer felt our marriage was good for him.  Since the woman he had married, was no longer present, he too deserved the right to change his mind…when life changed.

    I believe to the depth of my being, we are still together because of our bravery in facing everything truthfully, never dodging or refusing to say and do, that which we needed for our own integrity.  

    Oftentimes, this meant, that he and I did not do the same things. But we always did what was right for us.

    This too is a huge part of why our marriage withstood the test of all time.  We didn't force each other to do something that didn't feel right for us.

    We were able to fully embrace a unique and separate self…so we had two strong individuals living in the marriage.  Preserving the marriage was not our first priority, getting each of us strong and healthy was.  We actually put ourselves ahead of the marriage vows, and did what brought each of us peace…and the freedom to be ourselves.  

    We also knew, if in the end of all my changes, we no longer matched or got along, it would not have meant that either of us, was the problem.  Instead we would have moved on in order to maintain our individual truths.  That being, "I no longer love you today."

    I love that we have this between us. That there isn't this ironclad place that holds us prisoner together, but rather our own free will.

    I entered into our marriage not knowing what free will was…or even who I was or the truth of my history….and sitting here today, I know myself more intimately than I ever dreamed possible…and can fully engage in free will.  

    They say you marry someone that will heal your childhood wounds.  And what that means to me, is that they hold you safe so you can relearn and get back all that your childhood took away. 

    If you were without a voice, you will learn to speak.
    If you lost faith in trust, you learn to trust again.  If the love you gave was disrespected, they bring the respect back.  

    All I can say, is that I am completely healed, and one man has stood by me…and allowed me to be a whole me.  He restored all the things that were broken inside of me, by letting me be me.  And remaining constantly himself.  He didn't change.  He didn't turn 'ugly' like my father. His unchanging kindness always welcomed me…even when he stood firm, it was kind.  Even when he didn't give in, it was out of kindness.  Even when he refused to capitulate, always out of kindness for truth of who he is.

    Integrity and individual strengths is what makes our marriage.  

    I love you today.  I love me today.   And I love us together, today.

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  • All Her Stages!

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    I found the black,white, red border fabric and was very drawn to it.  I then picked a few more that would accent it nicely…and added a few from my stash.  When I completed the stripes, I brought it upstairs and some of the whites were "off whites" and so I set it aside.  

    Then yesterday morning I thought, I will finish it, so what if there are two shades of white…man, my past has many shades…I can use it as if I planned to have different shades.  I then went and added the thin stripes and the flowered border.  I loved it, when I felt it wasn't supposed to match perfectly.

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    As I was working to complete the background, yellow came to me…I knew I had to add yellow, and so I did.  I had it completed this far, when I stepped away from it to do the pricing on the other quilts.

    When I seen the stages of my lady…I knew what I wanted on this quilt….all of them.

    And so I created them this afternoon.  With a few tweaks to the original 3 dresses, and an addition of a few more….here is the completed design.  I still have to machine quilt in the borders, but the composition is done, which is my favorite part. Once the ladies are quilted and complete….My real fun is over.  Then it is just doing the finishing touches.

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    I was pleased with the way it all flowed.  It amazes me how a spark, a thought, a span of time passes, a new slant comes in….and voila, a new Lady quilt is born.

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     I loved the red polkadot fabric.  This was the start…the awakening, the seed of the Lady!

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    And a closer view of the rest…

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    The progression….and the flung back attitude of confidence, strength and knowing. Love her…in all her stages!

  • My Journey in Fabric.

    I had to go and hang up the Storyline quilts….and with a cursory glance to get them in order, I was totally amazed…and this is without their personal one on one time with me.  Wow.  (I know it sounds odd that I, the girl who made them, is a bit late to the game of understanding them…the message goes beyond the workmanship, the colors and the designs.)

    Here are a few highlights.

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    The first quilt is what I created to depict, "dropping the ego" and how you would rise when this happened.  The second quilt was about meditation and it just so happened that the background has a butterfly, a sign of transformation.

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    This third one is titled, "Soul Lost" and standing back, it appears to be a large hand taking or pulling the soul ( moon slice, out of the quagmire…..This I have never seen in the quilt before, it was just a mish mash mess and the halfmoon cresent of gold.

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    The pink one shows one ball untangled from the mess and is floating free…and ironically or not, a person appears on a floating ball in the second. (The second one, I just pulled from going to Marquette this morning.)

    What blows my mind is that these were all made 'randomly' and separately, a confused lady playing in fabric…quilting to find peace away from her upside down world and mental mind.

    Unbelievable, and it is me who chose the fabric, played with color and design…to see the connection and progression these have.  

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    And the little quilt shows the lady arising out the energy….like the whole background is the content of the ball of energy she rode out on.  

    IMG_7930
    And to see these two side by each, you can see the size difference as well as her movement and overall energy.

    It will be an amazing process to get these in a book, to find a blog post, or perhaps write from scratch.  There are over twenty at least that will be included.  


    IMG_7937
    There are more, but these seemed to be the main line….This collection will be on display at the Strawberry Festival Quilt show in July….the Saturday after the 4th.

    I can't wait to begin to work with this whole line and see my journey in fabric.

March 2026
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