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Chapter 12, Spiritual Partnership.  I love this about the Diamond Scale.

"My father owned a jewelry store in a small town in Kansas.  Somewhere in his career he acquired an antique diamond scale.  My mother kept it on a shelf of our family room bookcase.  I hardly noticed it until after he passed on.  When I did, I was impressed by its quality and elegance.  The scale itself was enclosed in a handmade glass and mahogany case.  The front panel slid up to allow access to the elegant instrument.  Its simplicity and beauty made it a work of art for me.  Two brass trays, each suspended from an arm poised on a brass column with a fulcrum at the top, balanced one another perfectly. A long needle-thin pointer, attached to the beam from which the trays hung, descended straight down the full length of the column to the base where vertical markings on a small brass plate showed its slightest deviation from center."

"Below the enclosure was a miniature wooded drawer made with the same care. The drawer contained a small block of wood with small holes of different sizes drilled into it.  In each hole a miniature metal weight , molded into the form of a tiny cylinder with a pharmacy-style knob at the top, fit perfectly.  A delicate pair of tweezers lay beside the block, and were used to place a diamond onto one of the trays and weights onto the other, one at a time, until the needle again pointed directly downward to center. If too many weights were added to bring the trays into balance again, or too few the discrepancy was immediately evident."

"When both trays were empty, they were level with one another. When a diamond was placed on one tray and its precise weight was placed in the other, they became level again.  Only then, at the point of perfect balance, did the long needle point vertically and precisely downward.  When either tray was above or below the other, the imbalance was obvious.  Perhaps a digital scale could weigh the diamond more precisely, but it would require calibration to insure accuracy.  My father's scale does not have this problem.  The trays are in perfect balance , full or empty, or they are not.  If they are, balance is evident.  If they are not, so it the imbalance."

"Equality is like that.  It exists or it doesn't.  In order to see if you feel equal with another person, picture yourself on one tray of an imaginary diamond scale that is large enough to hold people, and picture another person on the other tray.  If the trays are level, you are equal. If they are not, you are unequal.  Your weight and the weight of the other person does not affect the positions of the trays as they would on a real scale.  For example, you may discover that when you put a child on the other tray, your tray surprisingly, goes up as the the child weighs more than you, or that when you put someone who is heavier than you on the other tray your tray goes down as though you weigh more."

"That is because when you feel superior your tray is always higher than the other tray ( you look down on that person). For example, people who feel superior to their children, or to children in general, always find that their tray is higher when a child is placed on the other tray.  These people feel more worthy, important, and valuable than the child (even if they feel that they love the child).  People who feel superior in general (or entitled) live on a tray that is always higher regardless of who is on the other tray (for example, a parent or a colleague).  On the other hand, people who feel inferior (for instance, need to please) find themselves on the lower tray no matter who is on the other tray (even an abusive partner or insensitive employer).  They look up to everyone."

"The slightest experience of superiority or inferiority upsets the balance, and one tray sinks below or rises above the other.  The scales always shows your balance (equality) or imbalance (inequality). It is your personal scale.  It does not show you the experience of others.  They have their own scales.  What they see on their scales is for them. What you see on your scale is for you."

"I often discover that my scale is out of balance, no matter how shocked I am at each discovery. The more I explore the frightened parts of my personality, the more I see how superior some of them feel toward women, people who are older, people who are younger, and people who believe, speak or appear differently than I do.  Some of the frightened parts of my personality feel that they have no equal in creation, an extraordinarily arrogant (frightened) and inaccurate perception, but not to them.  It is a jolt to me to find that they are prejudiced in ways that I abhor, but they exist and until I became aware of them, I could not challenge them and they determined my actions."

"As you become aware of the different parts of your personality, you may discover that your scale is out of balance as frequently as I discovered mine to be, but perhaps in different ways.  For example, you may discover a frightened part of your personality that also feels it has no equal in creation, but in the opposite way – it feels inferior to all of creation.  It does not want to take up space in the world or be seen, and it subordinates itself to everyone and everything. It cannot imagine feeling other than inferior (although, in fact, it actually feels superior to individuals who feel superior!)."

"Inferiority and superiority are experiences of frightened parts of your personality.  Some situations activate frightened parts of your personality and feel inferior, and others stimulate frightened parts of your personality that feel superior. For example, when you put someone on a pedestal (idolize her) you feel inferior to that person, but when she fails to meet your expectations (this always happens) she falls off the pedestal (you feel superior to her).  The idol and pedestal are your creations. When you see your idol as a person like you, one illusion (you are inferior) disappears and another illusion (you are superior) replaces it.  On the other hand, if you discover that someone you did not consider important (for example a homeless person) can be very helpful to you (he is actually an eccentric billionaire), the reverse happens.  The illusion that you are superior (he does not warrant your attention) is replaced by the illusion that you are inferior (your attention is drawn to him magnetically)."

"I was wearing work clothes while speaking with a contractor who was helping Linda and me improve our beautiful home when a subcontractor walked up and abruptly interrupted me to speak with the contractor. When the contractor introduced me as the "property owner," his behavior suddenly and dramatically changed.  He turned his full attention toward me, smiled charmingly, and extended his hand. Disregard turned into deference; one frightened part of his personality replaced another when he discovered that I was a potential employer instead of a laborer. He did not think in terms of frightened parts of the personality, but the frightened parts of his personality shaped his perception and behavior first one way and then another."

"Sometimes when I meet someone who has something I want, or I think can help me get what I want, I find myself engaging that person more than others, being more friendly, more available, and more interested in him or her. The tray I am on goes down, and the tray the person is on goes up.  I feel inferior and I look up to him or her. The opposite also happens.  Sometimes when I meet someone I think cannot help me in any way, I find myself less interested in that person, less available, and more distant in general. The tray I am on goes up, and the tray that person is on goes down.  I look down on him or her.  I feel superior.  In this case, I usually see things about the person that I admire (judge her positively), and in the second case I often see things about the person that I don't like or approve (judge her negatively).  In both cases, I fail to see him or her as a soul."

"These are experiences of inequality. In other words, they occur only when frightened parts of my personality are active. Frightened parts of the personality assess the external power of others and compare it with their own.  When a frightened part of our personality calculates that it has more power (ability to manipulate and control), you feel safe and valuable (superior), and your tray rises. When it calculates that it has less, you feel threatened and less valuable (inferior), and your tray sinks."

"Feeling superior or feeling inferior is a message to you that a frightened part of your personality is active and determining your sensations, thoughts, perceptions, and intentions.  Your scale (if your picturing it) reflects this."  Gary Zukav

What I love about this is that we each have our own inner scale and we can tell how balanced we are by how we feel inside among various people.

I know that in the past my scales was extremely off.  I was either very superior and vastly inferior, but seldom or rarely was I ever an equal.

It has taken me many years to balance my inner scales…and there are and will be more situations where I will have to work to find the inner balance.

Raising my children up to a point where we are equals was huge. And even more so, raising myself up to my parents as an equal even more important.  The tricky part is not to overcompensate and then become superior, but to see them always as equals.

"There but the grace of God go I…" comes to mind.

To balance the scales often times I have to back up and take a full life review…and see the similarities of the journey.

We all weigh the same…we just perceive us as different. 

I was taught as in church, that we were special, the one and only right way, so that immediately plunge everyone else beneath me.  I was also raised to be inferior to my parents and actually all elders…and then being a victim of abuse, again lower on the scales. 

All my beliefs were with an imbalanced scale inside of me….and it was projected as normal. I bounced high or low…but never felt on an equal ground.

I guess a well adjusted person is one whose scale trays are always balanced, no matter what situation or person they find themselves standing with.

I may not be completely balanced, but I do know that there is a balance and what it feels like to be there…when I am there, it is peaceful.