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Reconcilation: Healing the Inner Child by Thich Nhat Hanh

Walking with Our Ancestors

"When we were only four years old, we probaby thought; I'm only a four year old child, a son or daughter, a little brother or sister.  But in fact, we were already a mother, already a father. All past and future generations were there in our body.  When we take a step on the green grass of spring, we walk in such a way that allows all our ancestors to take a step with us.  The peace, joy and freedom in each step will penetrate each generation of our ancestors and descendants.  We walk with the energy of mindfulness, and with each step we see countless generations of ancestors and descendants walking with us."

"When we take a breath, we are light, calm, at ease. We breathe in such a way that all generations of ancestors and descendants are breathing with us.  Only then are we breathing according to the highest teachings. We just need a little mindfulness, a little concentration, and then we can look deeply and see. At first we can use the method of visualization to see all our ancestors making a step with us. Gradually we don't need to visualize any more. With each step we take, we see it is the step of all people in the past and future."

"When we are cooking a dish that we learne to make from our mother or father, a dish that has been handed down through generations of our family, we should look at our hands and smile because these hands are the hands of our grandmother. Those who have made this dish are making this dish now. When we're in the kitchen cooking we can be completely mindful; we don't have to go into a meditation hall to practice this."

"In the past, did your grandfather play volleyball?  Did your grandmother go jogging every day?  Did she have the opportunity to practice dwelling in the present moment while she was walking or running?  When we are running we should allow our grandmother to run in us.  Your grandmother is in each cell of your body. You carry your ancestors in you when you're jogging, when you're doing walking meditation and when you're realizing the practice of dwelling happily in the present moment.  Maybe previous generations didn't ahve the opportunity to practice like this.  Now, whether we're practicing walking, running, or breathing mindfullly, we have the opportunity to bring happiness and joy to countless generations of ancestors."

"When we agonize over questions like, Who am I? Where do I come from? Was I wanted? What is the meaning of Life? we suffer because we're caught in the idea of a separate self.  But if we look deeply, we can practice no-self. This is the realizationt that we're not a separate self, we're connected to our ancestors and to all living and non living beings."

"Western psychotherapy aims at helping create a self that is stable and wholesome. But because psychotherapy in the West is still caught in the idea of self, it can bring about only a little transformation and a little healing; it can't go very far.  As long as we are caught in the idea of a separate self, ignorance is still in us. When we see the intimate relationship between what is self and what is not self, ignorance is healed and suffering, anger, jealousy and fear disappear.  If we can practice no-self, we'll be able to go beyond the questions that make people suffer so much."

"We are a continuation of the stream of life. Maybe our parents weren't able to appreciate us but our grandparents and our ancestors wanted us to come to life. The truth is that our grandparents, our ancestors always wanted us to be their continuation.  If we can know this, we will not suffer so much because of our parent's behavior.  Sometimes our parents are full of love and sometimes they are full of anger. This love and anger comes not only from them, but from all previous generations. When we can see this we no longer blame our parents for our suffering."

Habit Energy

The purpose of meditation is to look at something deeply and see its roots. Whatever kind of action we take, if we look deeply into it we'll be able to recognize the seed of that action. That seed may come from our ancestors. Whatever action we take, our ancestors are taking it at the same time with us.  So father, grandfather, and great-grandfather are doing it with you; mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother are doing it with you.  Our ancestors are there in every cell of our body.  There are seeds that are planted during your lifetime but there are also seeds that were planted before you manifested as this body."

"Sometimes we act without intention, but that is also action.  "Habit Energy" is pushing us; it pushes us to do things without our being aware. Sometimes we do something without knowing we're doing it. Even when we don't want to do something, we still do it.  Sometimes we say, "I didn't want to do it, but it's stronger than me, it pushed me." So that is a seed, a habit energy that may have come from many generations in the past."

"We have inherited a lot.  With mindfulness, we can become aware of the habit energy that has been passed down to us. We might see that our parents or grandparents wer also very weak in ways similar to us.  We can be aware without judgment that our negative habits come from these ancestral roots.  We can smile at our shortcomings at our habit energy. With awareness, we have a choice; we can act another way. We can end the cycle of suffering right now."

"Perhaps in the past when we've noticed ourselves doing something unintentional, something we may have inherited and we've blamed ourselves.  We saw ourselves as an individual isolated self, full of shortcomings. But with awareness, we can begin to transform and let go of these habit energies."

"With the practice of mindfulness, we recognize that a habitual action has taken place. This is the first awareness that mindfulness brings.  Then, if we're interested mindfulness and concentration help us look and find the root of our action.  That action may have been inspired by something that happened yesterday, or it may be three hundred years old and have roots in one of our ancestors.  Once we become aware of our actions, we can decide whether or not it's beneficial and, if it's not we can decide not to repeat that action. If we're aware of the habit energies in us and can become more intentional in our thoughts, speech, and actions, then we can transform not only ourselves, but also our ancestors who planted the seeds. We are practicing for all our ancestors and descendants not just for ourselves; we're practicing for the whole world."

"When we're able to smile at a provocation, we can be aware of our ability, appreciate it and continue in this way.  If we're able to do that, it means our ancestors are also able to smile at what is provoking them.  If one person keeps calm and smiles at a provocation, the whole world will have a better chance for peace.  The key is to be aware of what our actions are. Our mindfulness will help us understand where our actions are coming from."  Thich Nhat Hanh

I truly felt the energies of my sisters of many generations back as well as the future sisters….as I changed my habit energies.  They are with us and are cheering us on as we try to achieve what their generatons were not able to do.  

You never walk alone…for in your cells is the history of habits and if you are aware, than you will intentionally pass on habits. 

Awareness brings intentions.  

Awareness also carries the responsibility to respond with mindfulness.

Some of us carry the seeds of being aware…it seems to me, you either know or you don't know.

And once you know, you can't not know.

Once you can see the root system and how it grows, you then have the choice to continue to plant what is growing in your family or not.

In my family, I was able to clearly see the root system of abuse, of how it came to be, and what continued it to flourish.  What habit energies watered it.

I then had the opportunity to act with intention…I had a choice to either continue knowingly with abuse or decide not to repeat that action.