I had to look up the word Authentic, to see if I clearly understood what that means and is there a difference in being authentic and having an authentic relationship.
Authentic, "Of Undisputed Origin"…"authentic, genuine, bona fide mean being actually and exactly what is claimed."
"Being actually and exactly" what you claim to be.
The claiming part is where the sea of difference lies.
We can claim to be anything, but can you actually and exactly follow through, that is where authenticity lies, where the rubber meets the road if you will, and if not, all else is meaningless.
Stating claims isn't always necessary, we catch titles just by being in the world. I have claims of sister, daughter, mother attached to me. How I am inside of these claims is oftentimes imprinted upon us as we see the adults in our world playing them out.
And yet, each claim comes with its own definition or the definition of a dictionary, but that isn't always what we experience.
A mother in the dictionary as a verb is, "Bring up (a child) with care and affection: "the art of mothering"…and as a noun, "A woman in relation to a child or children to whom she has given birth."
And in reality I did get the noun version, but the verb part was lacking a few things…like "Care and Affection". Other verbs, action verbs took their place and in doing so, my mother was not an authentic mother…she couldn't be exactly and actually as her role claimed.
What we are not taught in school, that the words and reality will often not match, that there is very little authenticity.
In Bird Watching, there is a saying, "When the bird and the Book don't match, BELIEVE the Bird."
The other part of authenticity was to be of Undisputed Origin…and I take that to mean, that it is senseless to dispute how you were raised.
I had to look up the definition of Origin to make sure.
"The beginning of something's existence. A person's social background or ancestry."
My social background and ancestry is my undisputed origin. I fully own and embrace all of it, for if I didn't, I would be inauthentic.
So, in knowing all that…what then is an authentic relationship?
To me, there can be no authentic relationship, if you are not authentic as a person. Whatever false claims you live will come forward into the relationship; it is simply impossible to keep them out.
True authentic relationships allow into the relationship your social background and ancestry and not only expects but demands that you literally be actually and exactly that. An authentic relationship will not allow you to bring in false claims.
Claims without actions of being actually and exactly who you claim to be is being authentically inauthentic.
