Julia Cameron writes in The Artist’s Way…
”Conditioned as we are to accept other people’s definition of us, this emerging individuality can seem to us like a self-will run riot. It is not. The snowflake pattern of your soul is emerging. Each of us is a unique, creative individual. But we often blur that uniqueness with sugar, alcohol, drugs, overwork, underplay, bad relations, toxic sex, underexercise, over-TV, undersleep – many and varied forms of junk food for the soul…”
I have never thought of overeating or any of the above as being junk food for the soul. That most of the things that are bad for the body is also bad for our souls.
They blur our uniqueness, keep us living in with a fuzzy image of who we are, what we want, what we feel and where we heading, and above all, make it hard for the soul to shine through.
In fact all the bad habits keep the soul from shining through and yet we believe we need these habits, we literally crave them, and what they are is a black out curtain for the soul.
It is odd to me that we crave what keeps us from being our whole soulful self, and that we want the stuff that darkens who we are.
Perhaps we want to darken our reality.
We want to shut the shades on what is in order to survive…instead of taking actions to remove ourselves from situations in real life, we drape a curtain so we don’t have to see.
It is amazing to me that we become so accustomed to living a life with a darkened drape, that we have no idea how to live a life without them.
Julia Cameron is gently telling us what stands in the way from being you. What items we do to not be alive, aware and unique.
By removing the junk food from our lives we can see what they were covering up. The more we crave and hold on to things that are not good for our souls, the more chances there is big stuff we are not wanting to see, feel or respond to.
For me, my big mess was revealed first. I saw a whole life that I had no clue was going on underneath my dark curtain of denial, of self-numbing or fuzzy blurring of reality, and I then had to start eliminating things that contributed to the blanket of dysfunction.
This blanket of dysfunction lived my life for 46 years, a thick layer of stuff that my soul was unable to shine forth through.
It is surprising the difference between living as the dark curtain or the soul that lies beneath.
This is one of my first quilts after the revealation of my big mess….and you can see the sliver of gold, which is the soul trying to emerge. I called this the Soul Lost. I now have a better understanding of this quilt 6 years or more later!