Tag: Yoga

• The Bond Strengthens

  A little bit of trust is showing, a tad of self-control, and even some owning of determination, I have completed 19 days heading in the direction of reinventing this body into becoming a physically strong and healthy one.

   

  I am just on the beginning curve, just rounded the corner, and I am feeling that I can do this, that IT is possible. I caught a glimpse of my soul in my eyes today; we are taking back this body.

   

  While reading Deepak Chopra, “Reinventing The Body, Resurrecting The Soul,” he states;

   

  “Without a doubt, the body needs reinventing. To have a meaningful life, you have to use your body – you can’t experience anything without one – and so your body should be meaningful, too.  What would give your body its highest meaning, purpose, intelligence, and creativity?  Only the sacred side of our nature. This led me to the phrase, “resurrecting the soul.”  I am hesitant to use religious terms because they are loaded with emotional baggage, but soul is unavoidable.  Ninety percent of people believe they have a soul, and that it gives their lives ultimate meaning.  The soul is divine; it connects us to God.  Insofar as life contains love, truth, and beauty, we look to our soul as the source of those qualities; it’s no accident that a perfect love is called a soul mate.

   

  There is constant feedback between the soul and body. We invented the separation between the two, and then came to believe that separation was real.

   

  You may object that you’ve never felt ecstatic or sensed the presence of God.  This simply reflects our narrow conception of soul, confining it to religion.  If you look into the wisdom of traditions of every culture, you will find that the soul has other meanings.  It is the source of life, the spark that animates dead matter.  It creates the mind and emotions.  In other words, the soul is the very foundation of experience. It serves as the channel for creation as it unfolds in every second.  What makes these lofty ideas important is that every thing the soul does is translated into a process in the body.  You literally cannot have a body without the soul.  This is the forgotten miracle.  Each of us is a soul made flesh.”   Deepak

   

  I love the line, “You literally cannot have a body without the Soul.”  Yet for so long I wasn’t aware of my soul, or that my soul had a life that was separated from that of my parents, their beliefs and life patterns. 

   

  Bikram and Deepak are in agreement, that the body runs the best when the Soul is in the driver’s seat, when the mind takes a backseat.

   

  My Spirit is tentative at the wheel; unsure and wondering, having rode so long silently in the back.

   

  Who knows where we will go, what we will do, what experiences are yet for me to experience, but how awesome to be with this delightful driver!

   

  “Life is meant to be a complete experience.  People keep struggling with problems both physical and mental, never suspecting the root cause:  that the bond between body and soul has been severed. I wrote this book in the hope of restoring that bond.  I’m as eager and optimistic as the first day I used my scalpel to uncover the mysteries waiting under the skin, only now my optimism extends to the spirit as well.  The world needs healing.  To the extent that you wake up your soul, humankind is waking up the world’s soul.  It may yet happen that a wave of healing will sweep over us, a small wave at first, but one that could swell beyond all expectations in a single generation.”  Deepak

   

  I am feeling the tentative hold of my soul and body connecting.  Each time I do yoga, the bond strengthens.

   

  January 19, 2010

  body, soul, Yoga

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• A Stranger In The Mirror.

  "You don't have to worry about changing the world; just change yourself, and you will surely inspire the world to follow. The longest distance any of us ever has to travel to reach Self-Realization is 6 inches.  Take your hand, right now, and touch yourself on the forehead with the tips of your fingers.  That is where we all must start.  Now touch your fingertips to the center of your chest, right over your heart.  That is our ultimate destination.  Six inches lie between mind and heart, between ego and Spirit, between fear and love.  Six inches is all that separates us from God.  It is the true path to Self-Realization, the way is lit by yoga."     Bikram

   

  It is day 18, a nice number and my yoga is strong, or I was strong with yoga. 

   

  The pain in my hip has changed and it now feels more like a healing pain, not a stopping pain.  I am able to relax in the pose instead of just bearing it, moving slightly deeper each set.

   

  What I felt somewhere during yoga yesterday that perhaps what was stopping me was not the fear of an old memory, but maybe the fear of a new me, or the mixture of both. 

   

  As I was letting go, maybe I was surrendering to the death of the old me, and succumbing to the new unfamiliar me.

   

  In that weird spot of letting go and not able to grab firmly on to a new me, I knew that I was not alone, that I would not be asked to traverse this by my self.

   

  An overwhelming feeling of gratitude flooded me, knowing once again the Universe and I would witness together each adjustment.

   

  It did not forsake me in the darkest of times, so I am certain It will walk with me now.

  I will be in awe of the synchronicity and flow.

   

  Watching everything I need fall into place at the right and perfect time. 

   

  My only task is to give 110% to yoga each day, and surrender to the flow of change.

   

  When I look into the mirror during yoga, I see so much of my mother, for I reflect her image closely.  I look deeply each day for her to recede and watch for sprouts of a new me.

   

  About five years ago I had said that my father would not define who I am, it never has occurred to me to set the same tone with my mother, so I did so today.

   

  Her image shares the mirror with me, I had emulated her so closely, each day I desire to see less and less of her, and more and more of me.

   

  To see a Me I have not met, a stranger in the mirror.

  

  January 18, 2010

  Bikram, letting go, self realization, surrendering, Yoga

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• I took the first 90 minutes! (day 6)

  It is day six and I once again I pushed this body out of bed, put on my yoga clothes and began.  There were no aches and pains as I began.

   

  I had slept much better last night, so I felt awake and aware, but yet my mind kept wandering, like it wasn’t interested in yoga, and it led me everywhere.

   

  Everywhere but doing yoga!

   

  There I was in the middle of a pose, and not paying attention.  It was funny in a not so funny way.

   

  I remember when I first did this yoga many years ago; I would close my eyes in the floor postures just to stay focused on the yoga and my body.  And I had to have the volume up high to drowned out my thoughts. 

   

  So, today I did both.  I am sure Bikram would not approve, but I had a blind friend who did this yoga, and so I thought, what is the difference if I close my eyes.

   

  Everyday there seems to be a new ‘enemy’ or thing that wants to get ahead of the intention of doing yoga.

   

  As I lay on the floor with the yoga completed, I felt like I had stolen something from the nagging laziness.  That I had gotten ahead of the day even and took my piece first, before it could overwhelm me with all its needs.

   

  One of my yoga buddies talked about carving out a piece of her day for yoga, to make the time.  What I am thinking is all we have to do is steal it ahead of time.

   

  To jump in before the day gets busy and life pulls us on, to wake before the day awakes. 

   

  When I can begin moving before my old habits stumble awake, before they are even aware, I am in my yoga clothes standing on the mat.

   

  Today they tried to play with me while in yoga, but I was just as determined to do whatever it took to stay with the yoga, with eyes closed and Bikram speaking loudly in my ears, I took the first 90 minutes!

   

   

   

   

   

  January 6, 2010

  Yoga

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• Will I love it enough to continue forward…..(day two)

  This morning an older lady stiffly made her way to her basement, rolled out the yoga mat and put the CD going. 

   

  Her mind began the dreaded words, “you will never make it 60 days, this doesn’t feel good, what have you promised so many?”

   

  I then began the yoga and let the worries of whether I can complete the next 58 days go.

   

  My sore muscles were not comfortable in many poses, but I noticed by the second set they were less sore.

   

  I am thinking that in all of life we tend to push back and away from pain and discomfort instead of understanding the source. 

   

  The long months of neglect to this body are the source of the pain, not the yoga. 

   

  The yoga gets the blame when it is really the one who is here to fix and repair.

   

  If I can just remember that by stopping the yoga I am actually supporting the neglect of this body, it may help keep my momentum going. 

   

  Creating new habits and ways of living, feel awkward and difficult, it would be much easier to just walk back to the old routine.

   

  As I moved through the 90 minutes, I focused more on each pose, each screaming muscle and concentrated on bringing in healing breaths.

   

  Little gulps of sadness seemed to be with the sore muscles; emotion seemed to pass by as each new breath came in.

   

  It is very enlightening how much my body has gone unnoticed, and lived without me paying attention to its needs.

   

  The body is innocent, it simply follows our lead, if we lead it to disuse, abuse, laziness, we can hardly blame it for reflecting our actions!

   

  Just as much as our body is a reflection of past behaviors, we can change this by bringing it to yoga each day, and little by little turn this all around.

   

  I felt sad in the state it was in, but hopeful that change was at hand, and frightened that perhaps I will once again turn from it in neglectful abuse.

   

  It is scary it is all up to me, no one is coming along to bring health to this body, only me.  A daunting thought.  Will I love it enough to continue forward…

   

  
  

  January 2, 2010

  body, health, Yoga

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• Day One.

  I began the yoga tentatively eager to see just where my body was, or how far back it had fallen due to the lack of yoga in the past 6 months.

   

  In the first pose, Half Moon, my arms went numb quickly and it was all I could do to keep them above my head.  This is good news, for I kept saying that my shoulders were tensed up, the yoga echoed the truth.

   

  I surprised myself with being able to lock my knee and stay balanced for the length of the pose, but the limberness of completing the pose is not there.  It will be fun to see how this improves daily.

   

  Beginning the yoga this time I felt like an adult.  I was patient with my body, and didn’t expect it to do things it couldn’t do, and I was kind.

   

  My focus was on how it felt not how it looked.

   

  Maybe it is knowing I have 60 times to do this, that I don’t have to make all the improvements and changes in one session, I was more relaxed.

   

  I noticed that my forehead did not come close to touching my knee on the “Head to Knee” pose, but there was no dizziness at all in the Triangle.

   

  The Fixed Firm pose seemed to lose the most ground, for my bottom did not sit on my feet, close but a ways too go.  I just sat there, feeling the painful hip, knee and ankles in their stiffness, with no attempt to go backwards, I simply wasn’t ready yet.

   

  When I was asked to stretch in the separate leg, my finger tips touched my toes the first set, but were able to actually grab the toes the second. My back felt so good to be stretched and my legs now feel relaxed as I sit here.

   

  All in all I am very pleased with how the yoga felt to my body and how I kindly applied it.

   

  My focus was to keep my breath going first and foremost, and then to hold myself as deep as I could go in each pose. 

   

  I like the term applying yoga to my body, it is my intention to apply it each day for 60 days, and it felt soooo good.

   

  “The tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal.  The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.”

             Benjamin Mays

   

  January 1, 2010

  goals, Yoga

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