Tag: eating

• Familiar isn’t Good.

  “Our own physical body possesses a wisdom which we who inhabit the body lack. We give it orders which make no sense.” ~Henry Miller

  I seem to have an eating person and then a person who sees the affects, but the two haven’t met.

  My eating person calls foods delicious and has cravings for sweets and she lives above my neck. She enjoys the tastes and eats as if the food will fall on the ground after she chews, paying no attention to the body underneath.

  My eating is similar to smoking without inhaling, or so my mind has me believing, but the mirror tells a different tale.

  What is so odd is the body that needs better eating is not in control of the eating and the eating mouth cares less about what happens after it tastes, chews and swallows.

  While some diets look at the food and other people are telling the person to exercise, what I am thinking needs to be changed is the mind.

  It is the town crier calling scrumptious bakery delicious, but who is it delicious for, A thought in the head?

  My thoughts about food and what is the reality of food is a world apart, not even in the same room.

  My awareness is never in both places at the same time, yet my head is attached to my body. My body is not welcome in the boardroom when decisions about it are made.

  It shocking to know that my head lies or fails to acknowledge how the words and food don’t match, that there is a huge contradiction going on.

  Yet my head is the first to complain as I stand in front of the mirror, Like it had nothing to do with the weight upon my thighs!

  It is insane, the one that is craving and eating is now berating or feeling disappointed in the body…when the body is simply a dumping ground or garbage bag for the head.

  I am right in the middle of calling its bluff, and trying to stop reacting to eating choices and instead bring the body to the table and eat for it and not for my head.

  It is a fickle head…for it slurps up food, burps and then turns on its self when it sees the affects, like the traitor it is.

  This lying eating head is the same head that wanted me to stay in bed and not do yoga; it is a part of myself that sucks the living out of me.

  Within my food palate are vestiges of dysfunction, camouflaged in pretty cakes and candy, the pretty sounding names and tastes I have become accustomed to, my way with food.

  My immature food palate will take time to adjust to eating food that the body can use for energy and nutrients instead of pleasing a childish mind set.

  I am finding it odd that I have a iron grip on my sweets and feel less without them in my mail jeep. I like knowing they are there. It is odd to have this ‘value’ in no value items.

  Like clinging to love that is really abuse.

  I am holding on to the food that is keeping me overweight and out of shape, tired and lazy…and pushing away the good.

  This is a repeating cycle in my wellness…holding on to what hurts me…fear of letting go of familiar even if familiar isn’t good.

  April 19, 2011

  abuse, body, cycles, eating, food, habits, head, images, life, thoughts

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• Body, Mind and Soul

  It is a man’s own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways. ~Buddha

  What I find so interesting about eating, is we don’t eat what the body needs, we put items into it that do not work with the body, but actually against it.

  My backward eating habits reflect my old thoughts and beliefs and now I have to find new eating habits that match my new mindset.

  It is interesting that I use sweet treats as something that makes me feel good, yet the outcome has very little goodness IF any. I feel tired, dragged out, lethargic and my body is oversized from the useless calories I consume.

  There is a separation between how my tongue tastes the food and how it affects my body, like the two parts of me that don’t intersect.

  My head says its good and my mouth likes the taste, but once I swallow all hell breaks loose, my sweet treats wreak havoc once beyond my taste buds.

  The sweets are really saboteurs in disguise and I have programmed myself to discount the affects while enjoying the snack.

  The separation is critical in not linking the culprit and the feelings together, it is keeping the mind and body separated.

  Isn’t it incredible that the mind and body are not aware of each other, and instead of working together; they are fighting with each other, a civil war inside?

  Bikram speaks of bringing the mind back to the body for 20 seconds during each yoga pose. What yoga is teaching me is to pay attention to my body.

  When I eat I am not paying attention to my body, it is like my head is eating alone…until I swallow and then after my head has had its fun, my body then pays the price.

  It is so odd that we can ‘believe’ we are enjoying food that literally isn’t good for us. How is it possible to enjoy something that will cause us harm?

  What will it take to flip this around?

  I can’t seem to care while eating and enjoying the flavors that the affects after are not enjoyable.

  It seems like I am more addicted to the feelings afterward, that my natural state is to be sedative and unfeeling instead of feeling alive and alert and in touch with my feelings.

  We don’t even seem to have the feelings of being full or near full or tasting and appreciating the scents, the taste, the texture, let alone the incredible journey some food has taken to get from plant to table or even seed to plant.

  This is a new frontier for me to become more aware of what I eat, how I eat, when I eat and how I feel during and after eating and how it all impacts my body.

  It is time to stop eating as a head alone and eat with my body, mind and soul.

  April 15, 2011

  affects, afterwards, bad, body, changes, diet, eating, food, habits, lazy, lethargic, life, sugar, sweets, taste, thinking, thoughts

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