If you look at the way positive or negative feedbacks travel, they are exactly the same, leaving a person and landing within you, the only difference is the content or is the only difference from where it comes?
Or is it the real affect, you.
Can you change a positive to a negative by how you hear it?
Is it possible our state of being had more to do with the incoming message than the message itself?
How about our expectations of the person and the difference in what they are saying compared to what we believe they should be saying, that our forecast is failing us?
I have a feeling that our inner reception area is very much filled with expectations and needs and desires, leaving little room for incoming truths to show up as themselves, we have demands and commands for them.
Is it possible there are no negative messages, just messages to show us the way? And a negative becomes a positive if you lay its truthfulness against your life.
It is my belief that there are truthful positive feedbacks, and then there are pretend positive feedbacks.
Pretend ones are much more common than truthful feedbacks…and way easy to give. Words that won’t hurt another’s pretend life…for you don’t want to be the one to shatter their world with a truth.
I have great respect and admiration for the folks who tell you what you don’t want to hear, compared to the ones who just are parrots to you.
Mostly when folks get what they call a negative comment, they never stick around long enough to ask why; it is the story behind the remark that’s important.
The one instance that I stuck around to ask why, I was shocked to find, that this person cared about Art as deeply as I did, and he was able to tell me why. I had watered down the art with craft like ideas, and when explained, it made perfect sense to me. That if I had aspirations of being an Artist, there were guidelines, however subtle that kept art from being a craft, and I had crossed the line.
His truthfulness kept me on track, he didn’t pretend positive feedback to spare my feelings, for sparing me would have hurt my art.
This is true in all of life…sparing our feelings hurt them in the long run, for we are led to believe that which isn’t true.
My most positive influences in my life have been folks who have been brutally honest, not caring about hurting my feelings; rather they say what they have to say in order for me stop hurting myself by pretending that which isn’t true.
Isn’t a false positive really a negative in disguise?
I also believe we need huge amounts of false positives to keep our lives of pretend working; we need others to shield us from ourselves. But, if you are standing in your own truth, you don’t need anyone’s feedback to keep your life going, your life just goes.
You are as you are, there isn’t this thirst for others to keep your life going, and you are able to be self-sustaining.
You seek out any part of your own life that isn’t truthful, wanting to uncover instead of cover up the pretend places.
Living authentically is to live outside the covers, to crawl out yourself and not pretend even to make others feel okay.
It seems this false positive can go either way, flowing from us as well as into us. It is up to us to put up a filter that can discern fact from fiction, both coming and going.
Art and writing seem to be the process of building this filter, of facing yourself for the first time without the shield of pretending.
Tag: positive
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Shield of Pretending.
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Blanket of White Light
I just awoke from a dream in which I was conversing with my mother, part of the dream she was there, the other she was on the phone, it vacillated back and forth.
There was a lot of over talking where our loud voices drowned out the other; it portrayed pretty accurately how my feelings would react to her words and sentiments.
What I feel the most is being washed over by her needs, like a heavy pull into her very twisted life, or being sucked into a vortex, while what I need the most was the serene peace away from her.
Yesterday I heard about twenty minutes of an interview that Oprah had with a child suffering from being too sensitive to negative energies, and how he stated that he has to steer clear of negative people or their energies will invade his life and overtake his calm peace.
He profoundly spoke of using White Light to surround himself and how this keeps the negative energies away.
(I just went to http://www.oprah.com and watched him talking to Oprah about negative energies and White Light…it is at towards the ending of the write up and you can actually watch him.)
His simple description of wrapping himself in White Light prevents him from being spun out of control by negative people and things, equals my backing up from many in my family. Once you know where the drains are we need to steer clear.
What he also stated is that negative energies feed off of the calm energies…. When you put this into practical practice, you can see how pedophiles feed off little girls, and it changes them once the negative energies are allowed in, it alters their balance inside.
It is clear to me the visual of dark energies and how if you are not aware, will be sucked into them and their world, how you will serve them and leave your calm peaceful self behind. As a child you are unaware of what even happened, and sadly in the case of the monster in the home, you can’t escape the negativity, you are saturated in it.
This also seems to explain even my daughter, how her good energy was slurped up by his negative life situation eventually darkening her, changing her brightness, and dimming her.
The little boy speaks of doing the White Light by saying and knowing he is calm, love, awesome, cool, wise etc.
This is how we overpower the negative, by knowing who we are.
In his case he is overly sensitive to anyone who is carrying negative energies, and that even in his home, his parents have to try and be peace, love and joy, for if they are worry, fretting and anxious, he feels that and responds.
This brilliant example shows how our energies affect others.
How I had to back up from my original family to maintain my inner peace, love and joy.
And oddly enough it also shows me that my husband is right on track, when he said that our home had to be the safe haven for my daughter.
My greatest feat in all of this, was to continually push away the thoughts and fears, and settle instead of keeping it a normal peaceful place to be and for me to match that peace as well.
Our home had to be a White Light zone.
My dream of the vortex of negative energy and how it wants to dance with my peace by washing over me and leaving nothing but a shell remaining.
Unless I speak up, saying loudly and clearly, I know who you are what you want and I refuse you entrance in my world.
My intent 6 long years ago was to go forth with Love, Peace and Joy, what I didn’t know then was that I was hooking my wagon to White Light.
All my choices from that day forward had to match peace, love and joy inside. If I didn’t feel at peace I didn’t make that choice, be it mother, father, sister or brother, I let them all go for my peace.
Now I know I was choosing to wrap myself in a blanket of White Light.
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Who has Control?
My expectations of the New Year aren’t about the New Year but rather about me.
The New Year is neutral, a pile of days linked together, and many hours in which we live our lives.
What we do within those hours is how our year will unfold, or more importantly how we will emerge on the other end.
I went back on my blog and read some of my entries in January 2010, the beginning of my first 60-day Yoga challenge.
It was incredible to read about the beginnings of my year doing yoga.
Below is a section I quoted from Bikram’s book, and it shows the reality of what we are up against when we strive to make changes in our lives, what we are battling is gaining control over the mind.
“Without control of mind, you can do nothing. You have something, but you don’t know how to use it. The greatest challenge we face as human beings is controlling and properly using our own minds.
The mind is the communications system between the physical body and the Soul or Spirit; its primary responsibilities are to control the body and supply the Spirit with immediate and exact information. When the mind instead gives distracted and wrong information, the Spirit cannot govern properly – in fact, it cannot assume control at all. The ego-driven mind has had to rule for itself, and now it does not want to give up its ultimate authority over your life. This is a bitter, perverse fact about human beings, but it is the truth.
Without proper training, the mind will continue to give you the wrong information and divert your focus from your Spiritual goals. The way it does that so successfully is with fear and desire – its primary weapons. Like a drug dealer, the mind gets addicted to these two opposite but conjoined emotions, and when we are constantly reacting to our attractions and aversions to people, things and situations, we can’t see what really is and reopen the channels of our true Self, the Spirit. That’s why I say that the mind has become our worst enemy.
To overcome this will not be easy. The weak mind is ever growing, constantly feeding on your fears and negative habits. And as my Guru taught me, the natural human attraction to something negative is NINE TIMES more powerful than our gravitational pull to toward the positive- another inconvenient fact.”
BikramSo if you are endeavoring to make changes in your life this upcoming year, please take note, that what you will be going against is a very powerful pull, 9 times stronger than your thought of change.
Say your desire is to stop eating sweets; you will have the power to eat sweets 9 times stronger.
And if your desire is to exercise or do yoga each day, you will be fighting a powerful pull 9 times stronger to stay in bed, lay on the couch, and do nothing.
What I am most impressed with as I look back upon my year of doing yoga (332 out of the 365) is the sheer effort was exerted in getting to the mat.
Even though the actual 90 minutes of yoga is rough, it is nothing compared to the struggle to begin.The real battle is not in the actual doing; it is in the seconds or minutes prior to the event.
The fight ensues in the actual debate about whether you are going to abstain or succumb.
To do or not to do is the where the war is fought.
It isn’t about the sweets, the beer or the exercise; it is about the seconds of power right before, the space before doing or not doing.
It is on that edge of time, that second where your life is determined, who has control?
I M Perfect lady 