Tag: Recovery

Voice of the Adult.

David Hawkins writes about dieting or taking care of the body in "Healing and Recovery".

"When one reaches this level of handling appetite and hunger, one is no longer fixed on one particular food or another. One could say, "If we have a steak tonight, that's fine, and if we don't , that's fine." So it is okay either way. This means that one is free."

"One characteristic of this attitude is freedom. Freedom from what? There is freedom from being run by a program or conditioning, and freedom from being a victim of the cycle. There is freedom from the entrapment that made us feel bad about ourselves. As we get detached from these sensations, we begin to feel good about ourselves. In fact, our willingness to do that goes up to level 310, which has an even better feeling about it. We begin to accept that this is nothing other than a phenomenon, just a set of vibrations going on within consciousness. It does not have to do with food or the body. Those are all programs. In essence, physics explains it as just a set of vibrations going on in the field of consciousness that are within our power to alter. Once we do that, we can really begin to love ourselves more than we did before."

"There is another very interesting aspect going on in consciousness that will also be very helpful. It is something you can observe within yourself, and something I picked up within myself and saw happening. The cycle in the past was to be run by the hunger, appetite, satiation, and then guilt. All the good intentions I had about dieting and taking off weight suddenly flew out the window and disappeared somewhere. After filling myself up with far more than I knew I needed, suddenly there was a feeling of self-disgust and guilt. People with severe eating problems often experience that. They go into the bathroom, throw all the food back up, and then go into self-hatred, blame, guilt, and even suicidal depression, which can become very severe. What really happens in this type of situation? I observed that when a person sits down to eat, it is only the adult within who wants to take off the weight, and it is really the 'inner child' who is always hungry."

"In the past, Dr. Eric Berne, author of "Games People Play" and creator of Transactional Analysis, along with other people in that field talked about our 'child', and 'parent' tapes that are like three voices within us. One is the desirous child; one is the adult who is rational, intelligent and educated; and one is the parent who tends to be punitive and moralistic. The parent tape is the one who tells us about right and wrong. When we sit down at the table or walk to the refrigerator, the adult within goes unconscious and the child takes over."

"What does the child know about diet, weight, and calories? Nothing. The consciousness of the child is, "I want, I satisfy, and I get," so we go to the refrigerator without realizing we are in a different state of consciousness, one in which the child is dominant. So who is poking around in the refrigerator? The child is. Who is ordering a second hot fudge sundae or having a second helping of potatoes and gravy? The child. After we indulge the child without realizing what is going on, when the meal is over, the child leaves. it has had its fill, and then who takes its place? The parent does who then says, "How could you have been so stupid? Why did you have seconds? So did you have a piece of pie? Why did you put ice cream on top of the pie? I mean, think of the calories. You are really stupid and weak; you don't have any will power. You are no good; your self-worth is rotten."

"At this point, we are subjected to the inner angry parent who is blaming us. Blaming whom? Blaming the inner child. Where has the adult been all this time? It has been silenced. The adult was not there at mealtime or after mealtime. The child and the parent have taken over the whole eating program, which is natural because that is where the eating patterns get set up in the first place. They get set up with the child, and who is sitting next to the child, but the parent? So the child alternates with the parent in running the whole eating pattern."

"In order to counter act this, we have to be aware that the pattern is running. Just to be aware of it begins to change it. Now we can make a note to ourselves, put it on the table or the refrigerator, and consciously call forth our adult and tell the child, "This is the place for an adult now because my adult is very conscious of its eating." My adult knows about calories, diets, and healthy eating patterns. I consciously call forth my adult to be here at this meal. I say, "The adult me is here now" and consciously reject the presence of the child. Because the overindulgence does not happen, when the meal is finished, my adult stays there. No parent comes in to blame me for what has been done."

"It does not take self-control or resisting anything; it just takes being aware. When we sit down, we say hello to our adult and be conscious. Just as we sit down at the dinner table, we watch the kid come up in us. I have watched myself do this. "Oh, look at who is there at the table. Oh wow! Look at the pile of mashed potato! Look at the gravy!" Just watch people's faces when they sit down at the table and we see who is 'up' in them. We see the eyes pop open and watch the pupils of the eyes get very large. If that is not a five-year-old kid, then I never saw one."

"We may see a serious looking businessman walk into a restaurant with his briefcase. He goes through the cafeteria line and then sits down. Now, watch his face as he puts his napkin in front of him. He picks up his napkin – somebody else is already there. There is the kid all ready to have a good time! Of course, after the man gets up to leave, now we instantly see, "Oh, I ate too much." Now who is there? Look at the frown as the man is berating himself as he walks out of the restaurant. In his mind, he is counting calories. He just ate 3,850 calories for dinner, and his doctor told him he is supposed to have only 900 calories a day. He figures he cannot eat until next Tuesday now and wonders how is he going to survive."

"We can break out of this self-defeating pattern just by being aware. Make a little sign for the refrigerator door that says, "Adults Only." Be conscious; be aware of who is there. We will find that the adult enjoys the eating very much too, but just does not go crazy so easily." David Hawkins

What I love about how he breaks this down to there being three people that are vying for our attention or are in fact running our lives; The Child, The Parent and the Adult Self.

At first when I read this I didn't distinguish between parent and adult, but read them as one. But now I can see that my eating and actually my living patterns were created by a child and my parent.

And how bringing in my adult self, I can take over the functions of my life that have been running on the program built by me as a child and my parent.

This makes perfect sense to me. I do eat like a child, often. And then I do have a punitive parent come in and berate me…making me feel bad. While these two duke it out, my adult self is silent.

This silent adult self is the one who is missing in the places in my life where I have child like behaviors…as well as the beating myself up. The over indulgent child, eating sweets and then the belittling parent spreading the icing on the cake of self loathing. Or simply not being adult about my sweets.

Whether this pattern has created a person 50 pounds overweight like I, or 300 pounds doesn't matter. The key is the absence of a loving adult.

This is the one pattern that I failed to see in practice.

A loving adult.

I have to be that which wasn't shown to me…the pattern of loving adult.

What does a loving adult do? How does a loving adult act?

Imagine having a loving adult take over your eating habits, doing yoga, etc. I believe that I have had a loving adult take over parts of my life, but having a loving adult take over care of my body hasn't happened.

The indulgent child eats for me and is lazy when it is time to work on my body…and then the parent screams and rants and raves as to why not. No loving adult has come in to lead me through self care.

I almost have to wonder if subconsciously I am waiting for loving adult messages to come from my parent voice? Waiting for this kind voice to take over patterns I have lived under and replace them with things I wouldn't even recognize as me.

It is like I am either waiting for a loving parent or for my indulgent child to suddenly crave yoga and whole foods.

Perhaps that is what we are waiting for…a healthy child to appear.

What I know for sure is that a child can't lead this game of food and self care…for what I look like is the perfect pattern of a child in charge and what I feel like is having a nonloving parent.

In order for this to change, I will have to keep returning my awareness to seek out my loving adult self…ignoring the child and parent pattern.

And by asking for the voice of the adult.

March 17, 2012

adult, and, care, david, diet, Hawkins, healing, health, loving, Recovery, self
It Caught Me.

David Hawkins, "Healing and Recovery" writes about Catastrophes and Crisis.

"Acute catastrophes are the times when we make great leaps, when we face them directly and fixedly say, "I will not veer from this spiritual work." Now we are really confronted with truly spiritual work. It is not reading some pleasant-sounding phrases in a book or looking at some happy picture. Instead, we are right in the thick of it, in the teeth of it. The teeth of spiritual work occur when we are confronted with that which we cannot avoid. It is the direct confrontation that requires a leap in consciousness."

"These are the golden opportunities that are priceless if we see them that way, if we are willing to be with them and say, "Okay." The willingness to go with them, no matter how painful it may be, enables a giant leap in consciousness, a real advance in wisdom and knowledge, and awareness. That which we read about in books then becomes our own inner experience."

"There is something below the emotionality that is experiencing this energy out for a person. It is literally being handled by something far greater than one's personal self. If only the small personal self were present, one would be swamped and obliterated by the energy released during these experiences. One survives the experience because there is something greater than the personal self that is more capable of handling them."

"The trick of the mind is to not see that. It tries to change what goes on "out there", tries to figure it out, and then falls back on the intellect and finds that the intellect is not going to resolve this kind of problem. When we have dropped a big oak log on our foot and broken all the bones across the front of the foot, what is needed at that moment is our readiness and willingness to handle what life presents. Having the tools and the willingness brings about very rapid healing."

"There is the awareness in acute overwhelm that we really can handle the experiences. Part of the panic comes from the realization that what we think we are – our powerless, limited self – is no match for the power of this experience. That is precisely what is going on – the limited individual, personal self cannot handle the overwhelm. this is the precise spiritual value of it. What do we really want to change about the experience? We will see that what we want to do is change how we feel about it. What we can know is that the feelings will come and go. The even is not going to bother us after the feeling state. All that we have to experience through is the acute upsurge and energy of the emotion. The events will take care of themselves."

The desire to change what occurred and how we feel about it have to be surrendered. The confrontation is there, and all we can do is say yes to experiencing it through, no matter what the nature is, such as a death of a loved one, divorce, separation, an acute emergency, or a catastrophic injury. All bring about a taste of shock that is the same, no matter what is the precipitating event. The shock is the sudden realization of our powerlessness, the fact that the will has met a brick wall, that we are stoppable and have been stopped, and that the personal will cannot have its way."

Therefore, the shock and realization of all this is the same in all the experiences, along with the fact that it is unchangeable and permanent. That is the shock. It is as though we come up full speed against a brick wall, and every time in life when we do this, it releases the same energy field."

"If you have been through more than one of these experiences in your life, you can look back and realize that this is so, and that each time the state of shock was the same. The experience and sequence were the same. There was the experience with the feeling of sudden numbness, the state of disbelief, and then the unleashing of all the negative feelings."

"When we look at the negative feelings precisely and at some of the experiences we have had, we realize that we experienced all of this. We experienced the totality of that negative energy field. In the morning it would be present, and in the afternoon it would still be present. In fact, within a minute's time, we fluctuated back and forth. It is like a scintillating energy field in which the form of the emotionality is flickering from anger to resentment, to self-pity, to jealousy, to getting even, to revenge, to hate, to hating God, to hating oneself, to blaming the family and society, to blaming the government and laws. The mind wildly races around in this negative energy field. We can see the diffuseness and formlessness of it. It is like a basketful of negative energy, and we only have to hand the basket, not all the little things that flicker around in it."

"We only have to handle the 'all' of it. When we see that it is decompressing the 'all' of it, it moves us rapidly through it and out the other side. We see that it is an inescapable experience, and we must have the willingness to surrender to the work that has to be done now. How can we tell when that work is finished? When we suddenly come out into that inner state of peace."

"We know that years later people continue to have resentment and anger and are still caught in some aspect of that negative energy field because the events are not handled in the first place. The person was unwilling to sit down and handle them until completed. People are unwilling to do this because of the pain involved and because they do not know the techniques to use."

"Every time they go at it, they again start trying to change the events in the world and handle the thoughts. The intellect and the mind try to figure it out, and the person runs into the same impasse. By not having an effective tool with which to handle events, the work remains incomplete."

"What happens with the incomplete work and the emotions that were not released? That which is left undone begins to express itself in emotional attitudes and in the body in the form of illness. The unconscious guilt that was not let go of over the catastrophe that happened many years ago comes forth through the autonomic nervous system and the acupuncture energy system and connects with something from the mind. The energy field of the intellect of thinkingness is in the 400s. The energy field of guilt, fear, or anger then couples with some belief system in the mind about a particular illness that results in a physical illness. In psychoanalysis, it would be called psychosomatic, and in this case, the contribution of the psychological element is on the surface and quite visible. The end result of the unresolved emotional healing of a catastrophic experience is often an illness that may occur many years later. the grief that was left undone at the time of the death of some family member twenty years earlier, for example, may now express itself as a heart attack."

"A thing has been handled when we feel at peace and complete with it. It no longer recurs or brings up pain when we think about it; we feel satisfied. There may be regret about having to live through it, but somehow we come out on the other side of it as a different kind of person, and with that knowledge, there is a certain sense of peace that lets us know it has been handled now. Catastrophic experiences are the seeds, the very essence, of the ultimate spiritual experience. Within it and following it to its very center core, totally walking off the cliff in complete abandonment, the full surrender to the experience is the very see and core of that which the spiritual seeker has been searching for all along."

"With many catastrophic situations in ordinary life, there is an incomplete resolution of the experience, along with a lack of awareness of the jewel-like qualities and opportunities within the events. We are overwhelmed by the 'whatness' of them and look in the wrong direction. The mind also gets a secret payoff from the negative emotions (e.g., attention, self-pity, drama) plus indulgence and martyrdom, etc."

"Many times when drugs are introduced, altered states of consciousness occur, and the person is taken to the emergency room. What could be a crucial spiritual discovery is covered over with a band-aid, and the family tries to distract the person from the spiritual work."

"The essential aspect of the spiritual benefit comes from running directly into the experience. There is a saying in Zen to "Walk straight ahead, no matter what," so when this catastrophic experience comes, it is beneficial to center oneself right into the core of it, say "yes" to it and experience it through."

"There have been catastrophic experiences in my life where band-aids were available, and I refused to accept them because by then I had learned the value of experiencing them through. The band-aids really prevent the experiencing through of what might be called 'hitting bottom'. The concept of hitting bottom, which is well known in handling many serious problems, such as alcoholism, means to let go completely."

"In an acute catastrophic situation, the mind tries to cling to that which is familiar. It tries escapism, distractions, tranquilizers, drugs and alcohol, and various other ways of trying to ameliorate the situation rather than face it directly and work through it."

"The essence of a catastrophic situation is total surrender to the discovery of that which is greater than the personal self. The experiencing through completely of the catastrophic brings us into a connection and realization that there is something within ourselves that has the power to sustain, no matter how catastrophic the experience appears to be. As a result, we come out the other side of it as a greater person with the awareness that there is something within, that there is a Presence, a quality, or an aspect of life within that has the power to sustain us through the most seemingly impossible situations."

"If the catastrophic experience is not worked through completely, there are certain residuals. It is like we have only halfway fallen off the cliff. Some people think they walked off the cliff, but actually we find that they were secretly crossing their fingers and hanging onto some little outcropping or lifeline. The abandonment to God was not really total, so a doubt remains, and out of that doubt is the residual of, for example, grief or fear of the experience. If we do not experience something greater than the personal self, when going through the experience, we may end up with a limitation, a certain crippling, and inability to go beyond a certain point, and the willingness to participate becomes limited. The person who says, "I would rather live a limited life than face that kind of experience again. I would rather never love again than to love and lose." The saying is, "'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." The experiencing of lovingness puts us in touch with our Self, that which is greater than our own limited, small self."

"The complete resolution brings us into conscious contact with something that is greater than the personal self. Many people who have tried to attest to the fact that when they surrendered the small self to something greater than themselves, they came into contact with that which they consider to be 'real'. That personal inner experience of spiritual reality takes one from book learning to a profound inner conviction. Out of this inner conviction comes the willingness to re-enter life again, to participate in it, and to take the risks and chances."

"What is the inner experience of hitting bottom? It comes out of the feelings of hopelessness and despair; the person's small self is saying, " I of my own self, cannot handle this." The person surrenders out of the hopelessness, and from that comes the willingness to let go, the surrender to something greater than oneself. At the very bottom, in the pits, one realizes and accepts the truth, "I, of myself, my own individual personal self, my own ego-self, am unable to hand this. I am unable to resolve it." It is out of this defeat that victory and success arise. The phoenix rises out of the ashes of despair and hopelessness. It is not the despair and the hopelessness that are of value, but the letting go and the realization of the limitation of the small self. In the middle of the catastrophe, the person says, "I give up. I cannot handle this," and then may consciously or unconsciously as God for help."

"Due to the law of free will and nature of consciousness being what it is, it is said that the great beings that are willing to help all of us are waiting for us to say "yes." It is the sudden turning from the bottom of the barrel to the willingness to accept that there is something greater than ourselves that we can turn to. When the person asys, "If there is a God, I ask him to help me," then the great transformative experiences happen that have been recorded throughout history from the very beginning." David Hawkins.

Wow. I know it is long, and if you are still reading….what I can say is this is all true. When I found myself in the middle of something far too big and I too small, did I then find a Self, I wasn't even aware of. A soul, a connection to God…or I found God. It was in the midst of pure hopelessness and despair…when I took the free fall over the edge that It caught me.

Photograph by Hannah Jukuri

January 31, 2012

david, despair, go…, Hawkins, healing, hopelessness, letting, Recovery, self, surrendering
The Images in our Minds

"It is because of awareness that we know what is going on in consciousness. It is because of consciousness that we know what is going on in mind. Because of mind, we are aware of what is going with sensations. Because of sensations, we are aware of what is going on with the body. Consequently, that which we are – that which is aware, that which we really mean by the ultimate "I" and the infinite Self, and that which is conscious – is operationally many levels removed from the body. The interesting thing is that the body expresses and does what the minds holds. One is subjected to what the mind believes. In other words, the body, being like a puppet, is controlled by the mind, both consciously and unconsciously. Few people realize he power of mind over body." David Hawkins, Healing and Recovery.

What amazes me continually, is the fact that so many people live lives unquestioning and firmly NOT wanting to know, to look at what was put in their minds and how? Many are very content following blindly (unconscious) never daring to not follow meekly and without question.

I am not sure what brings or strengthens a person's awareness, but without awareness, your life gets left at the same level you were raised in.

It seems awareness is the ability to question and research your past.

And you know, the ones with the most to hide, research the least, question nothing and blindly face the future, never wanting to know, know, know what really went on. Who did what to whom and how did it affect them.

Parents who abused their children, are the ones firmly intent on letting the past go….letting their sins fade away. They are the ones who fear questions of the past and fear awareness of what went on…and even worse, face the responsibility of their actions and how it then affected the young and impressionable who lived with them.

Instead of looking deeply within themselves and their past, they focus intently on the future, like running away…yet they can't.

Their past rides with them in the lives of their children. The abuse program virus runs on.

By not looking, you don't escape. In fact, it is what keeps your mind in control, your failure to bring in awareness, allows the past to keep re-creating itself.

If you were born into a family of abuse and don't want to research it, you will then run on the same program set into place.

Somehow the vast majority of society believes that by not focusing on what happened, you will be set free…that you can live your life forward, without exploring what was put into you.

It is like you are running a software program to which you don't want to know its content. Or, you want to believe you are running a wonderful program called loving kindness, when in fact it is one based on fear and abuse.

There is no way in hell you can live in a home of abuse and come out with a program called love and caring. NONE.

And unless you un-program what was given to you, what you soaked up living in that space, you will live your life with that program leading the charge.

Running from the source of how you were programmed will not change the program.

You literally are a software program and will have to change this program while its running in your mind. Sorting through each untrue thought and switch it around.

For what I am most certain of is that the child of abuse, in order to survive, changes the labels of emotions or doesn't record them at all.

It makes a software program that doesn't record truth and reality.

This illusions software is what it lives with. These are the glasses in which it sees the world. These are the backwards thoughts that live in its head. The flipped upside down viewpoint of all things.

We create this fake software in order to survive and it gets left running, unless we become aware of its wrongness.

You can change locations, stop going to church, you can change clothes and houses, but the software continues to beat out its madness. You can't change it by changing location. You can only change it from the inside out.

You have to see what is programmed and cancel it out.

And those who will not see abuse, can't cancel it out. The abuse software then run their lives…it lives within them, it can't be out run…the virus isn't on the outside, it is in your head.

Abuse isn't something out there. Abuse is living with a software program that is the opposite of reality.

Imagine if you will, if children didn't depend upon their parents in order to survive, do you believe that they would simply allow themselves to be beaten, raped and fondled and be okay with it???

We have to change the program inside for we can't change the outside. We are forced to live in an alternate universe and get lost there.

We lose our way back to reality…

Running away physically will not correct this program. It is like changing the screen the projector is shining upon. There is nothing wrong with the screen, but the projector is playing a movie called illusion.

We say the opposite of what we feel….a film about what isn't our truth.

In my experience, truth re-programed me.

What a parent who is abusing their child fears the most, is that we won't stay programmed, that we will awaken and become aware…that we will truly see and begin to untangle the mess…

For when we do, our world flips and so do the images in our minds.

(Photograph by Hannah Jukuri)

January 29, 2012

abuse, away, childhood, david, experience, Hawkins, healing, mind, Recovery, running, truth
He Only Recognizes the Hardware

David Hawkins writes about innocence…from "Healing and Recovery" and perhaps this is the whole journey of life…healing and recovering your innocence.

"To safely do spiritual work and avoid crises, it is necessary to reaffirm, look within, and discover one's own innocence. It really is not safe to do spiritual work unless one has a glimpse of that innate naive innocence and keeps one eye on it at all times, because that innocence is the gateway back to the Truth so one does not get lost in the swamp."

"How do we see that innocence and know its presence? We know that enlightened beings say that all are one with God, and consequently, that which is intrinsically innocent is within us at all times. The knowingness can occur as a matter of revelation or understanding."

"It we look at the consciousness of the child, we see the child's innocence. Everyone agrees on the innocence of the child whose consciousness is not devious. It hasn't learned to lie; it hasn't learned the values of judgment and criticism. The child is openly trusting and innocent, and out of this innocence and trustingness, paradoxically, it begins to learn that which is not the truth. He or she hears the parents say, "We don't play with certain children because they are the wrong race, creed, or color; they belong to the wrong religion," and so hatred is taught to the child. In order for the child to be loyal to the family to honor and love its mother and father, the child has to adopt that teaching."

"As a result, the innocence of the child is exploited by that which is not the truth, and that which is not the truth innocently comes through generation after generation, via the parents, grandparents, other family members, friends, teachers, television, storybooks, and novels. So that which is intrinsically innocent now begins to take unto itself programs and beliefs that are not the truth."

"We can compare the consciousness of the child to the hardware of the computer, and the programming coming in from the social consciousness of the world itself is the software. We see that the computer, the hardware, which is intrinsically innocent, is uncontaminated by the software. You can run any kind of ignorance of negativity or falsehood through a computer, and the computer itself is uncontaminated. You put in the next CD, and the computer's capacity is unimpaired."

"Likewise, that intrinsic innocence within consciousness itself is unimpaired, and that intrinsic innocence is reading these words right now. It is the intrinsic innocence of one's consciousness that is listening and reading, trying to find the truth, trying to tune itself in to what is real."

"That childlike innocence is unchanged throughout one's entire life; it never leaves."

"When looking at what the world calls ego, or what spiritual work calls ego, instead of condemning it, we can see, out of innocence, that is what we believed at the time. What we did was appropriate if that software program had been correct. Therefore, we do not ever really make a 'mistake' in our spiritual work. Everything is on purpose once we set our intention to achieve an understanding of the truth and be open to Grace so that the truth may be revealed in whatever way we wish to hold in mind, in whatever expression is most appropriate. It is important to remember that we have asked for all that is in error (i.e.,ignorance) to be brought up for recognition. It is all right to do that if we realize our innate innocence at the same time."

"We again ask, The innocence of what? It is the innocence not of us as a person but the innocence of consciousness itself because, as a person, we are merely reflecting that which is universal as consciousness itself. What has gone on has happened as a result of the nature of consciousness; therefore, there is no point going into personal self-condemnation about it nor, on the opposite side of the coin, going into personal pride about it."

"Discovering the nature of consciousness itself and looking into the nature of consciousness in our own introspection reveals that everything we have believed in during our whole life has happened out of innocence. Compassion and understanding develop and because of that compassion, we can now see that through our own innocence, we have come to believe what we believe. The willingness to forgive then allows us to see into the hearts of others. Out of our own compassion, we can see the innocence of the child over and over. No matter what the age of the body, the consciousness has remained unchanged. We can still hear the heart of the child within the adult saying "won't," "don't" and so forth; it is the innocence of the child still speaking. We need to keep an eye on that to prevent spiritual crises. It heals conflicts as they arise."

"The reaffirmation of our innocence consists of never buying that anything is 'just' ego; there is no such thing as 'just' ego. Ego, the software, social consciousness, and the programming have been superimposed on that which is not ego but on truth itself and consciousness itself."

"All spiritual crises come from context, meaning, and the way in which a thing is held. If we think our diet is an unspiritual diet, or our lifestyle or what we do for a living are unspiritual, they are merely reflecting a certain level of consciousness."

"Those who have reached very high levels of consciousness condemn nothing. They will affirm, however, that certain levels of consciousness will have consequences, and that a certain lifestyle, one of selling out the truth, about one's self, will bring inner pain and grievance. It is left up to the individual to continue the process, and there is no attempt to control anyone."

"Certain behaviors or self-condemnation will activate energy fields that will be experienced as painful. Again, it is left to the individual to continue or not. However, it is then not seen as a threat but as merely a fact of human consciousness that inner agony can become greater than what it is already is if one violates certain principles. The teaching still holds up that it can be a very high teaching even thought it may warn us that very agonizing painful states of consciousness can come about as a result of certain behaviors."

"All the experience within human consciousness, including all spiritual work, represents a position, a way of being with, and a way of holding what we are always talking about. Even though we think we are talking about the external world, it is really an inner position as a consequence of a certain level of consciousness, of how we choose to be with something, and the pains and agonies that come about as a result of our clinging onto putting our survival on something that is not the truth. Pain tells us that we have put our survival onto something that is a violation of some principle of consciousness. That is really what spiritual work is about."

"The progressive pain of these positions tells us that they are far from the truth not what that they are 'wrong'. As we get closer to the experience of the Presence of God, the inner experience is one of increasing joy and happiness. As we get further from it, it tells us that we are far removed from the truth. Therefore, it is not a 'make wrong'. It is not a right or wrong, it is just that it is painful and does not work."

"The Buddha said that all pain and suffering are based on attachment and desire. " David Hawkings,

If you look at your journey as going from hot to cold, cold meaning away from truth and hot meaning walking with it, you will see life without the right and wrong doing, but instead like a graph or scale.

And your life will be dramatically affected by the closeness to the truth or by how far away you are from it.

What I know for certain it is harder to find the truth, if the truth was not taught to you. In fact to find the truth, you have to first discover what was taught that wasn't the truth…and to fully understand the malleability of our innocence.

It is because we were so innocent, so trusting and our survival depended upon the adults in our worlds, that we slurped up their softwear program.

I can visualize people now by where they are on the sliding scale of truth vs not truth…and the softwear they speak from can give you great insights to if they are hot or cold. And actually, their lives will clearly display how deeply buried is their innocence.

Discovering our innocence is the Spiritual Journey; we will then see what God sees. He only recognizes the hardware…

January 24, 2012

david, discovery, Hawkins, healing, innocence, journey, Recovery, Spiritual, truth
A loving God there.

"In the beginning of the research, we were naive. We assumed that anything labeled as 'spiritual' must be of the highest truth, valid, and something that could be corroborated through one's inner experience. We found that this is not necessarily the case, and what is labeled a spiritual teaching might range anywhere over the Map of Consciousness, all the way from the bottom of the Map, where the teaching was written by those who teach hate as the way to truth, up to those who are most infinitely loving. We found that many of the books were of a negative energy field, meaning that one would end up in a worse condition from getting involved in that particular field of learning and would move further away from the truth than before reading it. Almost half the books in a typical spiritual bookstore are actually fiction."

"As a result we had to look at the value of the research itself. In looking at the field of spiritual research, we found there are no real guidelines for the person approaching spiritual work for the first time or going back into it later in life with a renewed interest. Each approach claimed that it represented the truth, so the self-claims were no indication of validity. We also found that the number of followers and the glamour of riches the teacher of a certain pathway had no correlation with its validity – the number of followers meant nothing, and best sellers were frequently purely fictional."

"A purported teacher could have a great many followers, and yet we discovered that the energy field was in a negative direction, with calibrations being very low. As we got closer to the truth of the great enlightened beings that were acknowledged by all of mankind, the energies always moved upward in a positive direction. The calibrations were always over 600 and on up into the 700's. Therefore, we see how the great teachers -those called avatars – who were on the planet for only a short period of earthly time, changed the face of the world and the belief systems of mankind, breaking new ground and creating a whole new context and set of values because the power and energy of their words were of a such high caliber."

"That which is truthful carries greater power and calibrates at a higher number. It is a higher frequency, and in physics, the higher the frequency, the greater the power. Electrical power, for example, is not transmitted across the countryside at 120 volts; it is transmitted at 30,000 volts or higher. The higher the frequency the greater the power. This is why the words of the great teachers have transformed mankind for thousands of years. Their words are still active and powerful and continue to transform the consciousness of mankind thousands of years later, even though their bodies have left the plant. When we calibrate the energy fields of their work, we see that they are of enormous power, so it is not just what is said, it is the power of the being who says it."

"It has been discovered that, historically, there has really been no safe context or orientation available for people approaching this field, so the way to avoid spiritual crises and the need for spiritual first aid in the future is to back up a bit and do some individual research. The first question to ask about any teaching is, "What is the level of the teaching?" This is helpful because the child within continues to be naive and innocent. The innocence, on the other hand, is twhat leads to error because the innocent mind of the child has no means of discernment. It needs some way to determine what is going to be beneficial."

"it is obvious that if one is involved in a teaching that as an energy field below 200, one will have negative experiences. In contrast, a teaching that has a positive energy field and calibrates at a high level is going to lead into a lovingness, which is the best insurance against spiritual catastrophe. One can ask if the teaching, teacher of the teaching, or the books of the teaching are reflecting a high level. This is not to say it is right or wrong; it is just beneficial to determine its level."

"If a teaching is below 200, at Hatred, for example, it will say that God hates you, your behavior, your impulses and your humanness. Thus, this is a God of Hatred, and the energy field is negative, calibrating even as low as 20, 30, or 40. At that level is hatred, the killing of others and suicide. Thee is a God of death rather than of life. Self-hatred and an inner feeling of being destroyed come from this teaching. If one wishes to follow such a pathway, at least one is going with their eyes open (e.g. terrorism)."

"There are teachings of existentialism that focus on man's hopelessness. They are based upon worshipping the past in which there is a great deal of grief and self-pity toward what has befallen this group of people. There are teachings and teachers who express and exploit the energy field called Fear, in which case the person experiences a fear of God as a punitive God. The energy field is in a negative direction and continues to engender fear."

"All these negative fields have proponents who sound convincing. They are like politicians in the religious or spiritual world and very adept at their convincingness."

"As we move up into Anger, we see those positions that promote anger, conflict, hatred, and religious wars because they are competitive and usually champion a politicized god of retaliation. Because it is a polarized position, it is always viewed that God will punish the nonbelievers, which is usually one of the traditional teachings. It is important to know where this calibrates on the scale so we can see how it correlates with things that are truthful." David Hawkins, "Healing and Recovery".

What I find so discerning is that the word or subject of God and Spirituality can be used and manipulated by fear and the "innocent child" goes along believing.

The FALC, due to its belief that the nonbelievers will be punished, leaves its teachings at the level of Anger. Stunning in its horror as a child of that church.

He goes on to say, " How can we heal what comes up in our lives unless we hold a healing position? It is obvious how critically important it is to know the energy field of a given teaching. If it requires forgiveness, the teachings of the Christ is based on forgiveness. If it requires compassion and understanding, then the teaching will have to be at calibration level 500 and over because healing begins at 540. That which the world call sin is obvious something that requires healing, does it not? Then a healing that is at least at the level of 540 is needed."

"To ask people to bring up something from within into a negative energy field is to bring about upset; therefore it is unsafe to go into any spiritual teaching whatsoever that suggests introspection, soul searching, and purification unless that energy field of that teaching or pathway is positive and at 540 or higher. It is evident how dangeous a lower-level teaching could be – it would be like putting oneself on the operating table and letting one's abdomen be opened by a surgeon who does not have the skill to handle what he is going to discover when he does so. We don't allow a second-year medical student to open abdomens on the operating table. Instead, it is done by someone who has the power. These energy fields have power. It requires a great deal of power and knowledge to open up someone's insides and investigate them."

"We don't advise introspection in the beginnings of the inner process of purification until it is determined tht the teacher, teaching, and those around a person are in the energy field of at least 540, a field that is nurturing, supportive, and forgiving and has the purpose of healing through understanding and true compassion. The God of that kind of energy field would therefore be a God who loves us because healing only occurs through loving, and His love would be unconditional." David

All I can say is wow. Trusting in someone to help nurture you with anger is an impossible feat.

Not only the teachings of the FALC, are preached from the level of anger, but what of the ministers themselves?

There is no way a child in that religion WHO has been abused as a chance in hell of recovering while in that system. None. To operate on their soul while anger curses through their veins and cells.

What a huge affirmation this is for me and why I was so repelled and flung back from this system…It would be impossible to find a loving God there.

January 23, 2012

consciousness, david, FALC, falsehoods, Hawkins, healing, levels, Recovery, Spiritual, truth
“Healing and Recovery”

A continuation from "Healing and Recovery", by David Hawkins.

"Within each and everyone is that intrinsic innocence that never dies, no matter how long we live; it is intrinsic to the nature of consciousness itself. The innocence of the child is what bought the mistake or negative program in the first place. It is helpful to be aware that the intrinsic innocence of the child is still present in everyone. It is the innocence that watches television and naively buys into the negative programming due to its lack of discernment. The innocence of the child has no warning within it, nothing that says, "This is a world that is out to program you with as much negativity as you are willing to buy." In fact, that world gets well paid to do so because advertising is often based on appealing to the negative energy fields. All our fears, desires, and pridefulness are represented below the level of 200. It takes the willingness to be aware that within us in our innocence needs to be protected."

"When we look at "self-care", which is the capacity to love one's self, we find it now means taking responsibility to protect ourselves from the consequences of that innocence and the willingness to undo mistakes that the mind picked up as a result. We can then handle looking at ourselves and healing that which we find within us if we accept the awareness of the intrinsic innocence of our consciousness. We see that it was the innocence that was programmed. We then take responsibility for that and say, "In my innocence, I bought all that; I didn't know any better. I thought that the right thing to do was to be judgmental, to condemn people, and to judge them as right and wrong. Now I see that all that has made me sick, so I'm going to let it go." The people who are willing to look into this and go through the processes already described had complete, and full recoveries from their illnesses."

"The capacitiy to be forgiving is within us, along with the capacity for compassion. Out of it comes a general attitude about the way in which we look at ourselves. From our bigness, from our greatness, we look at our humanness through forgiving eyes and begin to forgive ourselves as well as others for all the things that were limitations and denials of the truth. All the things in the energy fields below 200 are denials of the truth; all those above 200 are the acceptance of that which is true and positive. Because our body reflects what the mind believes, and the mind reflects our spiritual position, spirit has the greatest power of all. Therefore, our spiritual position literally determines whether we have a healthy physical body or not."

"Once we are willing to accept the power of the mind, we have to be attentive, persevering, and not let mind get away with expressing negativity. We have to stop it as soon as we become aware of it. We have to begin to develop an awareness of negativity and recognize it for what it is. We let go of false humility and start questioning such remarks as, "Well, you know, I'm not very bright," or " My handwriting is poor," or "I gain weight eating the same amount of food that thin people eat." The minute we become aware of ourselves saying or thinking these limiting, self-defeating, self-attacking thoughts, we have to stop and cancel them."

"The handwriting is poor because there is a belief system that we have poor handwriting, so we then reverse the whole programming of the mind as far as cause and effect. We are returning to a principle that we can demonstrate through our own experience. It is physical and the expression of the mental, not vice-versa."

"We came to the conclusion that our handwriting is poor because the cause was in the mind, in the belief system. It may have been a remark picked up during childhood. Someone may have said, "Your handwriting is poor," and from that point forward, the program is operative. We have to look at the ingenuity of the unconscious mind to really see it. It would be great if one had some experience in watching hypnotic experiments. It has been shown that if a person is told their legs will be itching when they awaken, and then induce amnesia for the suggestion, when the person wakes up, they are asked how they feel. Instantly the mind will start creating the most marvelous and convincing argument of why the person's legs should itch. The person doesn't just say, "Well, my legs itch." The mind always gets creative and starts explaining, "Well, I have wool pants on, and you know I'm allergic to wool, and the heat in this room is steam heat, and that always creates the itching." It is just marvelous to listen to the inventiveness of the mind as it begins to create reasons for the symptoms, which, as stated above, were place within the hypnotic subject on purpose. The mind will do the same thing without formal hypnosis, so it is helpful to look at ourselves as though we have been hypnotized for half our lives and did not even realize it."

"What is hypnosis? It is suggestibility, is it not? It means to be in an unguarded, suggestible, relaxed state, so anytime we have been in that state, we have picked up all the programming, and whether we remember it or not, it is still operative. All the times we were half asleep as we sat in front of the television set, hour after hour of programming went into the mind and became unconscious hypnotic programs."

"We can discover what we have been programmed with by watching to see what comes up, such as the idea that, "I'm no good. Oh, I'm no good, I'm no good. I never was very good at playing cards." If we have the belief system of not being very good at playing cards, that is what is going to operate in our life and also reinforce that belief system. The belief system become self-reinforcing and self-fulfilling prophecies. A belief that is held unwittingly can manifest in our life, thus justifying the belief system. By looking at our lives, we can tell what beliefs are being held. If we cannot recall them, then we say they are unconscious or have unwittingly picked up from the collective consciousness of society."

"Heath is the automatic expression of higher energy fields. The fields of 540 and over are the levels of gratitude, forgiveness, and healing. The willingness to be forgiving and grateful in itself automatically begins the healing process. Becoming a loving being in the energy fields of love is not sentimentality or emotionalism. What the world calls love is more often about dependency, control, sentimentalism, and emotionalism. It is an emotional, sentimental attachment in which control is going back and forth, and there is the satisfaction or desiringness on both sides. This is the Hollywood version of love."

"When you hear someone say, "I used to love George, but I don't anymore," it means that they never did love George. What was really meant is that they had a sentimental attachment, sort of a solar-plexus kind of 'hanging onto', which the person romanticized and glamorized within their life, pouring a lot of emotional energy into it so that when the tie was broken, up came a lot of negative emotion."

"Real love is unconditional love. Unconditional love is a decision we make within ourselves. The process is one of intention and the decision to be a loving person. If I decide to love you, that is my inner decision. There is nothing the other person can do about it…" David Hawkins

January 22, 2012

body, david, Hawkins, healing, love, mind, Recovery, spirit, unconditional
Mind, Body and Spirit

"Healing and Recovery" by David Hawkins…he is writing about health.

"We also have to look at how experience is actually experienced. The body itself is insentient, as curious as that may seem. It has no capacity to experience itself. The next level comes through sensations, from the senses of the body, so we do not experience the body; instead, we experience the sensations of the body. Senses themselves have no innate capacity to experience themselves. They are experienced in mind. The sense report what is going on with the body, so we are several levels removed. Mind itself is unable to experience its own experience. It has to be in a greater, larger energy field than itself, and in this case, it is the energy field of consciousness. Because of consciousness, we are aware of what is going on in mind. Mind then tells us via the senses what is going on in the body. We can see that perception is several levels removed from the physical body. Consciousness itself requires something greater than itself, called awareness. Awareness allows us to know what is going on in consciousness and reports what is happening within mind. Mind in turn reports what is happening about the body via the senses."

"That which we call 'myself' is many levels removed from the physical body. It is necessary to understand that fact because we then see that the mind has power over the body. We can appreciate the physics of the energy fields of the 400s, and see that, just by their sheer power, they are greater than the energy field of the physical body. The physical body (calibration level 200) does what the mind tells it to do. Therefore, if the mind says, "I have this disease," the body complies."

"We can thus see the importance of not buying into programs, all of which are really limitations of the truth. We can see the importance of consciously canceling the limiting programs and instead saying something that is the truth. The truth is, "I am an infinite being not subject to that." So, when people hear something such as "Eggs are full of cholesterol, and cholesterol gives you heart disease," they accept the thought as the truth and buy into the belief system that the cholesterol in eggs will raise their blood cholesterol. Their bodies simply agree and raise the blood cholesterol when eggs are eaten."

"One time I had a very high cholesterol level and began to cancel the belief system. I repeatedly said, "I am an infinite being; I am not subject to that. I am only subject to what I hold in mind. This does not apply to me, and I hereby cancel it and refuse it." If the mind can program you with a negative belief system, it can also reverse itself, can it not? Therefore, we begin telling ourselves that the belief system has no effect on us, that it is only a belief system, and that we do not have to buy into it or go into agreement with it."

"When we go into agreement with a belief system, we give it the power of the collective energy of that belief. When we refuse it, we then release ourselves from the collective energy of the belief system and count ourselves out. One attitude is to not buy into agreement with negative belief systems that have to do with our health. This is very important when it comes to epidemic suggestions and hysteria. The programming that comes in is aided and abetted by an emotional program."

"Much is still heard about AIDS, for example, which is accompanied by constant repetition in the media that play on fear – Fear about this, anger about that, and of course, the guilt about this. What better disease to bring up all of man's feelings of sinfulness and guilt, especially about ones sexuality, which is so common in all cultures, not just ours. Of course, it then takes on a negative energy when the coin is turned over and becomes the lowest. What better area in which to create an epidemic to ensure the belief in it? There is the unconscious guilt, not to mention the conscious guilt about one's sexuality, the sadness about it, the grief over it, and the fear about the disease itself. All this contributes to setting the stage for a mental belief system in an energy field of 400s. There is also the negative energy field of fear, which is the energy field of 100s, plus the guilt of calibration of level 30. This is the exact set-up for disease because the mind chooses that with which it is impressed and uses that as a form of expression."

"In the case of the cholesterol experiment I cancelled the thought every time it came up. After a short time, the cholesterol level decreased, and now I can eat three eggs for breakfast every morning, lots of cheese, even other high cholesterol foods, yet my cholesterol is low and sometimes even below normal for my age."

"The body will do exactly as the mind believes, but there is a credibility problem here. The persons ask, "How could just my belief in that make it happen within my life?" It is due to the nature of the unconscious, which creates the opportunity for that to occur. There is the person who is 'accident prone' because that belief has taken hold in their mind. Unconsciously, the person just manages to get their body in the right place at the right time in order to get hit by the fender of a car, or slip down stairs, or get hit on the head. There is no need to worry about it because the mind will find a way. People just slip into a sort of hypnotic trance and expose themselves to the correct opportunities to make that program manifest in their lives (e.g., extreme sports, climbing Mt. Everest, etc)."

"There have been many experiements with a cold virus, for instance, in which one hundred volunteer subjects were exposed to very heavy doses of a cold virus. Interestingly, not everyone ended up with a cold, just a certain percentage. In other words, if the power were in the virus itself rather than within unconsciousness, all one hundred would have gotten a cold because the virus is so potent. What happens is that maybe only sixty-five percent will get it because one-third of the subjects do not believe in it. There is sufficient doubt within the mind, along with insufficient unconscious guilt. It is not acceptable to the person to express it in that form, so nothing is universal." David Hawkins

How very interesting to know that the mind is more powerful than the body, and that which is held in the mind is manifested in the body. Deepak Chopra has been saying this as well. Yet we continue to deal and focus on the body as the problem.

What I also love, is the mind that can be programmed, can then be unprogrammed, by programming it to know this.

Also the body calibrates at 200, the mind at around 400…which is why it can overpower and control the body, but the Spirit is at 500, which can overpower the mind.

What I witnessed and fully grasped was the mind's powerfulness…and then the power of my Spirit, which is of no comparison.

It was the awareness of the Spirit, of consciousness that could see the mind and its strength, even when it was fully enmeshed in the negative fields of guilt, shame and fear, and how it held my body and my life prisoner…

I had to cancel out so many beliefs of mind and intellect and reason and replace them with knows of Spirit.

What a process and what a brilliant intricate dance, where no one is of greater power or less than the next. We are all held into place by the same system of calibrations and beliefs.

The epic struggle between, mind, body and Spirit.

January 22, 2012

body and soul, david, Hawkins, healing, mind, Recovery
What I Mirrored.

Continuing on from “Codependent No More” by Melody Beatte, she writes.

“Gradually, I began to climb out of my black abyss. Along the way, I developed a passionate interest in the subject of codependency. As a counselor (although I no longer worked full-time in that field, I still considered myself one) and as a writer, my curiosity was provoked. As a “flaming, careening codependent” (a phrase borrowed from an Al-Anon member) who needed help, I also had a personal stake in the subject. What happens to people like me? How does this happen? Why? Most important, what do codependents need to do to feel better? And stay that way?

I talked to counselors, therapists, and codependents. I read the few available books on the subject and related topics. I reread the basic – the therapy books that have stood the test of time- looking for ideas that applied. I went to Al-Anon meetings, a self-help group based on the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous but geared toward the person who has been affected by another person’s drinking.

Eventually, I found what I was seeking. I began to see, understand and change. My life started working again. Soon, I was conducting another group for codependents at another Minneapolis treatment center. But this time, I had a vague notion of what I was doing.

I still found codependents hostile, controlling, manipulative, indirect, and all the things that I had found them before. I still saw all the peculiar twists of personality I previously saw. But, I saw deeper.

I saw people who were hostile; that had felt so much hurt that hostility was their only defense against being crushed again. They were that angry because anyone who had tolerated what they had would be that angry.

They were controlling because everything around and inside them was out of control. Always, the dam of their lives and the lives threatened to burst and spew harmful consequence on everyone. And nobody but them seemed to notice or care.

I saw people who manipulated because manipulation appeared to be the only way to get anything done. I worked with people who were indirect because the systems they lived in seemed incapable of tolerating honesty.

I worked with people who thought they were going crazy because they had believed so many lies they didn’t know what reality was.

I saw people who had gotten so absorbed in other people’s problems they didn’t have time to identify or solve their own. These were people who had cared so deeply, and often destructively about other people that they had forgotten how to care about themselves. The codependents felt responsible for so much because the people around them felt responsible for so little; they were just picking up the slack.

I saw hurting, confused people who needed comfort, understanding, and information. I saw victims of alcoholism who didn’t drink but were nonetheless victimized by alcohol. I saw victims struggling desperately to gain some kind of power over their perpetrators. They learned from me, and I learned from them.

Soon, I began to subscribe to some new beliefs about codependents. Codependents aren’t crazier or sicker than alcoholics. But they hurt as much or more. They haven’t cornered the market on agony, but have gone through their pain without the anesthetizing effects of alcohol or other drugs, or the other high states achieved by people with compulsive disorders. And the pain that comes from loving someone who’s in trouble can be profound.

“The chemically dependent partner numbs the feelings and the non-abuser is doubled over in pain – relieved only by anger and occasional fantasies,” wrote Janet Geringer Woititz in an article from the book Co-Dependency, An Emerging Issue.

Codependents are that way sober because they went through what they did sober.

No wonder codependents are so crazy. Who wouldn’t be, after living with the people they’ve lived with?

It’s been difficult for codependents to get the information and practical help they need and deserve. It’s tough enough to convince alcoholics (or other disturbed people) to seek help. It’s more difficult to convince codependents – those who by comparison look, but don’t feel, normal – that they have problems.

Codependents suffered in the backdrop of the sick person. If they recovered, they did that in the background too. Until recently, many counselors (like me) didn’t know what to do to help them. Some times the codependents were blamed; sometimes they were ignored; sometimes they were expected to magically shape up ( an archaic attitude that has not worked with alcoholics and doesn’t help codependents either.) Rarely were codependents treated as individuals who needed help to get better. Rarely were they given a personalized recovery program for their problems and their pain. Yet, by its nature, alcoholism and other compulsive disorders turn everyone affected by the illness into victims- people who need help even if they are not drinking, using other drugs, gambling, overeating, or overdoing a compulsion.”

Melody Beatte

What I love is that she sees how the codependents were formed…and in my experience it matches to what I know to be true for me.

I love how she says we suffered sober…for indeed we did…My perpetrator wasn’t an alcoholic, but a sexual predator, yet the outcome is still the same.

My mother’s codependency of my father is what I mirrored.

August 21, 2010

Al Anon, caring, child, codependent, Dysfunctional, legacy, Melody Beatte, more, no, pain, Recovery, sober